can they do this?

[Parents! Get help here!]

Our BPDs26 is divorced and has a 3 year old. In the divorce agreement he got visitation for his little girl.  That was over a year ago. He has sent pics, a phone video, etc.  His ex wants to take him to court to relinquish parental rights to his daughter. He has erratic behavior, but he hasnt hurt his daughter. Because of his inability to hold ajob he is behind in support payments. I know he is irresponsible , butcan they deny him seding his daughter because of his illness? Hes falling apart over this and so am I.

[lovesjazz]

Our BPDs26 is divorced and has a 3 year old. In the divorce agreement he got visitation for his little girl.  That was over a year ago. He has sent pics, a phone video, etc.  His ex wants to take him to court to relinquish parental rights to his daughter. He has erratic behavior, but he hasnt hurt his daughter. Because of his inability to hold ajob he is behind in support payments. I know he is irresponsible , butcan they deny him seding his daughter because of his illness? Hes falling apart over this and so am I.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[mamachelle]

lovesjazz,

I don't know all the details so I don't want to speak for all situations-- but just because he has BPD and behind on his support payments there appears no valid reason to relinquish his parental rights. My exH has BPD. DCFS found that he abused our daughter. I was trying for supervised visitation when he fled the scene. Even if your BPDS26' ex has Sole Custody he still gets visitation.

I am not sure what his ex is doing or why she is saying this but it sounds fishy and sounds like an empty threat to me. Talk to an attorney. I wonder if his ex has some serious issues of her own. 

 

mamachelle

[six]

not sure if you are in USA, but generally being behind in support payments would not affect a parent's ability to have visitation.  the court will generally only terminate parental rights upon a showing of abuse.  this would have to be documented by psychologist that it is not in best interest of child to continue relationship with parent.   courts generally decide this way only in very extreme circumstances.

[mamachelle]

Oh- forgot to mention BPDexH owes over $20K in child support for DD13 and 16 now ... . and that is not counting his half of medical, child care, et al. The two issues of support and visitation are seen as pretty much mutually exclusive and if the courts went around forcing parents to give up their rights then how would they be able to get child support from the parent that has no rights since he is no longer a parent?

Basically the courts want 2 parents supporting the child so the state does not have to support the children.

[lovesjazz]

Thank you for your replies.  The ex parents I believe are behind this and have money. Our BPDs lies so much so we dont know what is going on.

[mamachelle]

Hey lovesjazz,

Ok. That can make things more complicated. It's hard to respond to this kind of thing when it is being filtered through someone who does lie.

Have you seen this:

What is the story on "Grandparents' Rights?

If it were me, I would pay attention and remain involved. There are things that can be done like false DV accusations to make things more complicated.

How old is you GD? How often does he have visitation? How far behind is he on child support?

I also would recommend posting on the Legal Board to get more targeted help.

  mamachelle

[Suzn]

I live in the US. In my state visitation and support are separate issues. The courts here want a child to have access to both parents, this can be damaging to a child psychologically if it is not allowed. (Unless there is abuse of course) So it doesn't matter if someone is behind on child support, they still get to see their child. Although, here you can go to jail if support isn't kept up however it has to be seriously behind before that happens and it isn't long term jail time. They usually take tax refunds first.