Adult son of BPD

[Franklytired]

I am a 39 year old adult son of a BPD.

Unlike a lot of posts I have read I seem to have been very lucky in my early childhood.

BPD traits did not emerge until my teen years but then I left for college, moved away have a great job and great family.

Once the grandchildren were born Mom and Dad moved nearby and Mom's BPD is in full force.

It is incredibly serious and she has attempted suicide several times.

She no longer wants to see the grandchildren she once loved. My father and I are the targets and get blamed for everything.

I am worried about his safety living with her.

I longer have any contact with her because I am scared for myself and my children.

She thinks we break into her house, spy on her, steal from her etc... .

I am glad to have great memories of my childhood and that is what I try to focus on.

I read about the Waif/Hermit/Queen/Witch traits.

She is a Hermit/Queen with a little Waif thrown in.

I hope I can find some answers and help in these posts. This is a great board to have.

[curtainsforspain]

Hey brother. I completely sympathize with your story. I am also the son of a BPD mother. I don't want to say that I understand what you're feeling, but I certainly understand the feelings of fear with your own mother. Since I'm completely new here as well, I don't have much in the way of advice, merely to say that it sounds like you've done the best you can in this situation. You've removed yourself, and most importantly, your children from her. Also, cherish the memories you have of your childhood. If you have any siblings, perhaps it may be a a good idea to connect with them. Go out to dinner and reminisce about your childhood. Really enjoy the good memories you have of your mom.

All I can say is that you are not alone.

[DreamFlyer99]

hi FranklyTired! And could your name be any more descriptive about what it's like dealing with a parent with BPD?   Oh I feel ya, tho my mother has been gone for a bit more than a decade, the wounds went deep and it was one confusing ride.

Welcome to you too, curtainsforspain, you are so right, none of us have to deal with this alone especially once you've found the bpdfamily. Thankfully!

I didn't even realize my mother had BPD traits until I was reading a book my therapist had suggested I read when I was trying to understand what was going on with my husband, and started seeing my mother all over the pages of the book. It was "Stop Walking on Eggshells" by Randi Kreger, and she has a newer one called "The Essential Family Guide to BPD" that is set out in a very organized manner and includes the new things she has learned in between the writing of the first and second. I found it really helpful sanity wise, as their traits can make us feel like we are losing our minds. And surprisingly, the BPD sufferer comes from a place of a poor sense of self, according to Randi Kreger. They may seem all large and in charge, but it's actually that they see reality differently than we nonBPD sufferers do.

I love this video--it's a brief but great view of what's happening in our r/s (relationship) with the pwBPD (person with BPD.) Video-What is Borderline Personality Disorder? Give it a view and see what you think.

This is a supportive community where you can learn and grow in your understanding, and there's even a specific board where those of us with a family member or even a friend with BPD can go to ask questions and learn from the senior members who have a wealth of knowledge and experience with the subject. So  and keep on posting/reading/sharing, this is the perfect place to find you really don't have to walk this road alone.



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