Liberating Deletion of pics, emails and reminders

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

As I progress through this process of final separation from my uBPDexGF... . (we split in April went NC then recycled for 3 weeks in July - end of July she engaged a new victim) but now after 3.5 years of numerous break ups and recycles I have brought myself to another real point of chain-breaking! --This past week,  I did some "housecleaning".  I have deleted literally hundreds of pictures and emails from my accounts that have been stored since the beginning of 2010 (when we began).  All the Albums on Facebook, I did not hide, I deleted.  Pics on my computer, pictures of us together, ones taken of one another, pics of us kissing at sunset, even pics with her kids, my kids, all of us together, Disneyworld, baseball games, trips, everything I can find on-line, on computer, hardcopy... . all deleted!  Professional, beautiful pictures of us on a cruise together, I simply deleted and destroyed and had a satisfying feeling ripping through the hard copies.  I threw away everything she brought into my home, birthday cards, and reminders from new year’s eves together such as a noise maker and hat, even a coffee table. I threw away all the things she ever gave me (which weren't that many) including a pair of dress shoes, ties, and an expensive wallet.   I literally piled this garbage in with my weekly trip to the dump and enjoyed watching it tumble into the landfill!  While I know I cannot eradicate history and there will always be pictures and reminders of us somewhere in the world, it feels good to get rid of some of this stuff from my immediate vicinity!

Soon there will be no trace of her in my life, only the ruminations throttling through my gray matter. Which are to end soon enough--with my continued self-work!  I joined this site one month ago, just days after our last recycle, but I have learned so much. And I know I have grown a lot in one month as a person.  A few weeks ago, I wanted to send a letter to her new BF, but after consulting this group, I did not.  I have that letter waiting, and had a weak moment or two wanting to call her a few times, but, alas I did not.  NC since July and I want it to be continued NC in July 2050. 

I have few regrets in life, but really when I think about it, short of the credit I do give her for the brief flashes of goodness she displayed, as she did bring me happiness at the beginning, and at moments during the clinging stages, I'll give her that... . however, the rest was a pretty regrettable 3.5 years spent with a emotional sucking vortex of a person, who is currently onto the next victim.  She is just now laying the groundwork for his impending emotional doom!  And as someone has said on this board, the" Mac Truck" of emotional demise is headed his way and he is standing right in the middle of the road, his eyes are fixed squarely on the headlights.

While I know this is not for everyone, has anyone else enjoyed this type of liberation lately?

[bettermentofsociety]

As I progress through this process of final separation from my uBPDexGF... . (we split in April went NC then recycled for 3 weeks in July - end of July she engaged a new victim) but now after 3.5 years of numerous break ups and recycles I have brought myself to another real point of chain-breaking! --This past week,  I did some "housecleaning".  I have deleted literally hundreds of pictures and emails from my accounts that have been stored since the beginning of 2010 (when we began).  All the Albums on Facebook, I did not hide, I deleted.  Pics on my computer, pictures of us together, ones taken of one another, pics of us kissing at sunset, even pics with her kids, my kids, all of us together, Disneyworld, baseball games, trips, everything I can find on-line, on computer, hardcopy... . all deleted!  Professional, beautiful pictures of us on a cruise together, I simply deleted and destroyed and had a satisfying feeling ripping through the hard copies.  I threw away everything she brought into my home, birthday cards, and reminders from new year’s eves together such as a noise maker and hat, even a coffee table. I threw away all the things she ever gave me (which weren't that many) including a pair of dress shoes, ties, and an expensive wallet.   I literally piled this garbage in with my weekly trip to the dump and enjoyed watching it tumble into the landfill!  While I know I cannot eradicate history and there will always be pictures and reminders of us somewhere in the world, it feels good to get rid of some of this stuff from my immediate vicinity!

Soon there will be no trace of her in my life, only the ruminations throttling through my gray matter. Which are to end soon enough--with my continued self-work!  I joined this site one month ago, just days after our last recycle, but I have learned so much. And I know I have grown a lot in one month as a person.  A few weeks ago, I wanted to send a letter to her new BF, but after consulting this group, I did not.  I have that letter waiting, and had a weak moment or two wanting to call her a few times, but, alas I did not.  NC since July and I want it to be continued NC in July 2050. 

I have few regrets in life, but really when I think about it, short of the credit I do give her for the brief flashes of goodness she displayed, as she did bring me happiness at the beginning, and at moments during the clinging stages, I'll give her that... . however, the rest was a pretty regrettable 3.5 years spent with a emotional sucking vortex of a person, who is currently onto the next victim.  She is just now laying the groundwork for his impending emotional doom!  And as someone has said on this board, the" Mac Truck" of emotional demise is headed his way and he is standing right in the middle of the road, his eyes are fixed squarely on the headlights.

While I know this is not for everyone, has anyone else enjoyed this type of liberation lately?

[Learning_curve74]

Kudos to you for this big step, betterment! 

I wish I were as strong as you. I could only put away all the pics I had of her. I still have gifts that I bought for her but hadn't given to her yet. Luckily I'm usually too busy to look at any of this stuff. I can't go back, but letting it all go is still hard.

[snappafcw]

I'm in the same situation. I still have some photo's, perfume ect packed away... . And all our photos I have backed up on a hard drive. I've been tempted to look at them a few times... . most of the times with happiness but then I can see the sad hollow look she had in most of the photos makes me realise the whole relationship was a lie... . for her anyway... .

[bettermentofsociety]

but then I can see the sad hollow look she had in most of the photos makes me realise the whole relationship was a lie... . for her anyway... .

What's amazing is in many of the photos of my ex, she had that hollow look as well.  She is such a beautiful woman, but some photos of her were down right disturbing as she had a distant stare, nowhere near the realm of the environment.  Yes, you got it, snappa, one big lie.

[bettermentofsociety]

I'm in the same situation. I still have some photo's, perfume ect packed away... . And all our photos I have backed up on a hard drive. I've been tempted to look at them a few times... . most of the times with happiness but then I can see the sad hollow look she had in most of the photos makes me realise the whole relationship was a lie... . for her anyway... .

Do you think you hang onto those memories forever?  I don't want to, so I let them all go.  You are very right--relationship was just lies!

[Ironmanrises]

My exUBPDgf gave me an iPad mini as a surprise with the words "Just because... . Ironmanfalls"... . Engraved on the back of it.

Was given to me shortly after she came back into my life(Round 2).

I will never know if she gave me this present "just because"... . Out of sincerity/genuine feelings... .

Or out of guilt for having left me abruptly and treated me like she wanted nothing to do with me and raged at me when she left me the first time.

It pains me to even use it.

The person that gave it to me at that very moment wasn't exactly the same exact person that left me for the second time months later.

But then again... .

That is the nature of this disorder.

Yes. No. Yes/No. Either. Or. Both.

All momentary.

A constant reversal of feelings.

To look at it.

And wonder.

And not know the real reason.

Haunts me.

I am very sentimental.

There are times I honestly wish she didn't give it to me.

A gift that only hurts me in return when I use it.

[MindfulMan]

I have few regrets in life, but really when I think about it, short of the credit I do give her for the brief flashes of goodness she displayed, as she did bring me happiness at the beginning, and at moments during the clinging stages, I'll give her that... . however, the rest was a pretty regrettable 3.5 years spent with a emotional sucking vortex of a person, who is currently onto the next victim.  She is just now laying the groundwork for his impending emotional doom!  And as someone has said on this board, the" Mac Truck" of emotional demise is headed his way and he is standing right in the middle of the road, his eyes are fixed squarely on the headlights.

While I know this is not for everyone, has anyone else enjoyed this type of liberation lately?

Hey Bettermen

I admire your courage. I went even farther. My exBPDgf left me for the second time at the end of April. She left last year in March. We were living in California and I decided to move to Oregon in November. I told her she didn't have to come and not to complain about the weather. The rages and devaluation began immediately. I got this huge house for the two of us. We had "plans" to make a life together. Looking back I see how I was being painted black months ago.

Now I'm moving. I can't stand to be in the same house with the rooms she painted, memories of every fight associated to some room in the house. I think we covered every room painted black with her rage. I want no more reminders of her. I let her into my heart and like the Trojan Horse she infected every part of me. So kudos to you my friend for working on yourself and removing any trace of that insidious BPD virus.  

[PhoenixRising15]

Finally I gathered the courage to leave.

My ex begged me to give her one more chance come January.  Said I need time to figure myself out, I've got problems.  I don't want any other men.  You are the only man I want. Said she can't even drink so don't worry she'll be in full control.

2 weeks later.  Pics of her with 2 guys on 2 separate nights that i found through a friends social media, drunk in both

#yolo #sangria yay!   

Hrrm wonder what she did that night?

I'm so done its not even funny.

The sad thing is she put up pics of herself publicly that I could view which were taken at the same places without the guys.

Such a lecherous, lying tramp.

Thank God I'm angry.  Finally, I'm angry.  I can stop feeling sorry for her.  I'm DONE DONE DONE DONE.

I'm out and moving on with my life.

I'm done.  I'm out. 

[DeRetour]

Congratulations Betterment!

I haven't brought myself to taking this step yet, but I'm considering it. Job well done!

deretour

[bettermentofsociety]

I am very sentimental.

There are times I honestly wish she didn't give it to me.

A gift that only hurts me in return when I use it.

Ironmanfalls---I feel for you brother, this iis some of the toughest stuff anyone should ever have to go through.  It's hard to get rid of the material things, but oh so much harder to shake off the emotional damage.   

[bettermentofsociety]

Finally I gathered the courage to leave.

My ex begged me to give her one more chance come January.  Said I need time to figure myself out, I've got problems.  I don't want any other men.  You are the only man I want. Said she can't even drink so don't worry she'll be in full control.

2 weeks later.  Pics of her with 2 guys on 2 separate nights that i found through a friends social media, drunk in both

#yolo #sangria yay!   

Hrrm wonder what she did that night?

I'm so done its not even funny.

The sad thing is she put up pics of herself publicly that I could view which were taken at the same places without the guys.

Such a lecherous, lying tramp.

Thank God I'm angry.  Finally, I'm angry.  I can stop feeling sorry for her.  I'm DONE DONE DONE DONE.

I'm out and moving on with my life.

I'm done.  I'm out. 

I will not look at on-line photos.  I have blocked her, her family and all of her friends, I've even disconnected all tags of me. While I can't get them all because some are public and belong to non-friends, I've gotten rid of a fair share.

Hang in there.  Don't torture yourself by looking at FB.  I was there just weeks ago. I am well into second month of NC and look forward to many years of the same. 

[bettermentofsociety]

Kudos to you for this big step, betterment! 

I wish I were as strong as you. I could only put away all the pics I had of her. I still have gifts that I bought for her but hadn't given to her yet. Luckily I'm usually too busy to look at any of this stuff. I can't go back, but letting it all go is still hard.

Thanks Learning_curve... . I know that letting go is hard.  I think I started to let go many recycles ago, but just recently could bring myself to dump the stuff that I knew was there, lurking.  Letting go is so, hard.  My next step is to sell the engagement ring that I bought her and she (luckily) returned to me (more than once)!  I just bought this thing last year, but I know I will be happy to get only half of it's retail value, just to be rid of it.  In the next few days, I plan togo to the jeweler to sell it.  Very few things remain that will remind me of her.  It's just stuff.

The real problem remains between my ears and in my chest!

When you are ready to totally let go of that stuff you bought her, you will.  You'll donate it or give it away or toss it in the trash.  Or... . maybe you won't, you will always keep it tucked away.  I just cannot do that.

[bettermentofsociety]

Congratulations Betterment!

I haven't brought myself to taking this step yet, but I'm considering it. Job well done!

deretour

Thanks, it was a big step for me but felt good.  Just cleaning house!  I won't regret it either.  No material things that remain from our relationship have any real value when I think about it. So gone it is!

[bettermentofsociety]

]

Hey Bettermen

I admire your courage. I went even farther. My exBPDgf left me for the second time at the end of April. She left last year in March. We were living in California and I decided to move to Oregon in November. I told her she didn't have to come and not to complain about the weather. The rages and devaluation began immediately. I got this huge house for the two of us. We had "plans" to make a life together. Looking back I see how I was being painted black months ago.

Now I'm moving. I can't stand to be in the same house with the rooms she painted, memories of every fight associated to some room in the house. I think we covered every room painted black with her rage. I want no more reminders of her. I let her into my heart and like the Trojan Horse she infected every part of me. So kudos to you my friend for working on yourself and removing any trace of that insidious BPD virus. 

Hello Mindful, I have not sold the house we lived in together.  However, the only thing that she changed were a few colors here and there.  This was my house before she moved into it and it is mine now that she is gone.  Slightly different from your situation, but I understand you moving.  I will move one day, but I know this house existed before she entered my life and it's different than the other "shared stuff"  I too admire your courage to move on in a drastic way.  Don't look back and keep moving forward.  I plan to do the same my friend.

[Emelie Emelie]

Wow Betterment - I admire your strength.  I've still got all the photos, texts, and even a couple of voicemails.  I sort of tortured myself with those at first.  Especially all the sweet text messages.  I haven't looked at them for awhile but can't bring myself to get rid of them.  The only thing I did was take down pictures of us on Facebook.  He's rarely if ever on Facebook but I just couldn't look at them all the time.  Sounds liberating for you!  Good job.

[MindfulMan]

Thanks Bettermen

I kept a few key text messages and one voicemail she left for me at 4 am a day after my brother died. She railed at me that she wanted to come first and that she couldn't trust me if I didn't her what she needed.  This is a reminder every time I get wistful and imagine the idealization phase, which will never, ever come back. 

The second recycling, the breakup was much more damaging.  I keep the bad stuff to remind myself how lucky I am.

[blurry]

My only problem with destroying the evidence, I notice she does it almost immediately following a breakup, deletes and throws out everything, pics, fb posts how much she loves me, tags ect, all gone in her impulsive fit. So when she changes her mind 5 days or 5 weeks later. Were left with whatever I still kept and somehow I'm hurt and shocked that she simply deleted our memories.

With that being said, the dec breakup was particularly bad, I couldn't picture myself going back to her and didn't imagine shed have the nerve to even ask. So I had started deleting stuff eventually. And of couse she lured me back, and all through that period of reconcilliation and even now as I sit here without her and heartbroken, I miss those pictures, how happy she appeared with me.

Maybe once I man up and clear this #$%& out of my life, maybe that'll signify the end and finalize it permanently in my mind. For now I just continue to ruminate I guess.

[bettermentofsociety]

Wow Betterment - I admire your strength.  I've still got all the photos, texts, and even a couple of voicemails.  I sort of tortured myself with those at first.  Especially all the sweet text messages.  I haven't looked at them for awhile but can't bring myself to get rid of them.  The only thing I did was take down pictures of us on Facebook.  He's rarely if ever on Facebook but I just couldn't look at them all the time.  Sounds liberating for you!  Good job.

Thanks.  I was torturing myself, but decided that I will probably never look back fondly at these things so decided it was time to let them go.

[bettermentofsociety]

Thanks Bettermen

I kept a few key text messages and one voicemail she left for me at 4 am a day after my brother died. She railed at me that she wanted to come first and that she couldn't trust me if I didn't her what she needed.  This is a reminder every time I get wistful and imagine the idealization phase, which will never, ever come back. 

The second recycling, the breakup was much more damaging.  I keep the bad stuff to remind myself how lucky I am.

Keeping the stuff around for me was worse, so I feel better being rid of it.  Everyone does it a bit different.

[bettermentofsociety]

My only problem with destroying the evidence, I notice she does it almost immediately following a breakup, deletes and throws out everything, pics, fb posts how much she loves me, tags ect, all gone in her impulsive fit. So when she changes her mind 5 days or 5 weeks later. Were left with whatever I still kept and somehow I'm hurt and shocked that she simply deleted our memories.

With that being said, the dec breakup was particularly bad, I couldn't picture myself going back to her and didn't imagine shed have the nerve to even ask. So I had started deleting stuff eventually. And of couse she lured me back, and all through that period of reconcilliation and even now as I sit here without her and heartbroken, I miss those pictures, how happy she appeared with me.

Maybe once I man up and clear this #$%& out of my life, maybe that'll signify the end and finalize it permanently in my mind. For now I just continue to ruminate I guess.

I hear ya, I understand your ex's impulsive reaction to the situation. My reaction was calculated, I thought long and hard about whether or not I wanted to keep such memories around, and I decided that I did not.  There was little value to me in doing so and I find it cleansing almost to have removed all of those fake memories or moments filled with joy for me that were really "tainted" by her hidden behavior.  LThe lies were way too much to keep pictures and little memoirs.  Best to let all that go and move on.  I tend to not like a lot of stuff around anyway.  So it helped both causes.

[MindfulMan]

Thanks Bettermen

I kept a few key text messages and one voicemail she left for me at 4 am a day after my brother died. She railed at me that she wanted to come first and that she couldn't trust me if I didn't her what she needed.  This is a reminder every time I get wistful and imagine the idealization phase, which will never, ever come back. 

The second recycling, the breakup was much more damaging.  I keep the bad stuff to remind myself how lucky I am.

Keeping the stuff around for me was worse, so I feel better being rid of it.  Everyone does it a bit different.

I should probably delete everything. I'm now at the "I don't give a rats ass about her" stage. I realized how she manipulated me for the past year to get money out of me. All our loving intense memories mean nothing to her. I am just an object to be used.

[Learning_curve74]

I'm too sentimental to get rid of the photos. It was rare that we took photos together, but in the ones that I do have there is a true look of joy on both our faces and in both our eyes. Many people on the forums talk about the BPD "empty/dead eyes", but that is not something my BPDex shows in the photos, there is a very genuine childlike joy in her eyes when we took photos together.

We were so stupid and so in love at those moments, and I say that without the slightest hint of self-deception. It hurts too much for me to look at those pictures now. But in the future I hope they'll just be warm reminders of an ex that I once loved tremendously but is no longer part of my life. I know she touched me very deeply, and I believe that I touched her deeply too (she is very self-aware for a pwBPD). When we were most in love, I don't think either of us realized how much we would end up hurting each other.  :'(

Thinking about this and writing this post, I feel so sad now.   :'(

[goldylamont]

I'm too sentimental to get rid of the photos. It was rare that we took photos together, but in the ones that I do have there is a true look of joy on both our faces and in both our eyes. Many people on the forums talk about the BPD "empty/dead eyes", but that is not something my BPDex shows in the photos, there is a very genuine childlike joy in her eyes when we took photos together.

We were so stupid and so in love at those moments, and I say that without the slightest hint of self-deception. It hurts too much for me to look at those pictures now. But in the future I hope they'll just be warm reminders of an ex that I once loved tremendously but is no longer part of my life. I know she touched me very deeply, and I believe that I touched her deeply too (she is very self-aware for a pwBPD). When we were most in love, I don't think either of us realized how much we would end up hurting each other.  :'(

Thinking about this and writing this post, I feel so sad now.   :'(

Thank you so much for sharing this learning_curve74!  i hope it doesn't make you feel too sad b/c it makes me feel happy. for some people they see their whole r/s as fake. however i don't think every great moment i had with my ex was fake. sure she was troubled from the beginning, but, hey, i've got game baby!   I've made other beautiful women who weren't disordered just as happy. I realize there was a lot of deception and things i didn't understand during the r/s, but still i know many of the good times were just that, good  

[bettermentofsociety]

I'm too sentimental to get rid of the photos. It was rare that we took photos together, but in the ones that I do have there is a true look of joy on both our faces and in both our eyes. Many people on the forums talk about the BPD "empty/dead eyes", but that is not something my BPDex shows in the photos, there is a very genuine childlike joy in her eyes when we took photos together.

We were so stupid and so in love at those moments, and I say that without the slightest hint of self-deception. It hurts too much for me to look at those pictures now. But in the future I hope they'll just be warm reminders of an ex that I once loved tremendously but is no longer part of my life. I know she touched me very deeply, and I believe that I touched her deeply too (she is very self-aware for a pwBPD). When we were most in love, I don't think either of us realized how much we would end up hurting each other.  :'(

Thinking about this and writing this post, I feel so sad now.   :'(

Hang in there Learning Curve. Like I said, getting rid of all your pictures and stuff is not for everyone.     I too have those feelings you express; however, I have all the memories in my mind.  I don't need them physically, I am just that way. Don't get me wrong I know there were a ton of good times and we were happy.  I just know that there were key moments in time of our relationship that she was lying to and manipulating me.  For example, we got engaged, and the next day she was sleeping with another man.  I did not find out about this until later and when I went back and looked at the pictures of us laughing and holding one another with the ring in shots from the week following our engagement,  she was in bed with another man that whole week.  I just choose not to keep those.  Then when I started to really do some self examination of what I was going through and starting to really examine all of our pictures together,  none of them stood out as really special.  So, while I do have some good memories, I reign myself in and realize that she is deeply disordered, and that I should not read too much into pictures and material things like the shoes she gave me.  It’s all just material stuff.  Stuff can be replaced.  Memories are not stuff, they are in our brains.  I don’t need the physical reminders to remember something like a relationship.    Not the end of the world, just reality.  I go through pain each day, but I know that this is just another step in my getting over her,  as with you my ex touched me very deeply, but I know I must move on. 

BTW she was not always doing the “million mile stare” or an emptiness gaze in all of her pictures.  She is very photogenic and very, very beautiful physically (but oh so ugly emotionally, the ugliest!) .   Many shots of her are/were amazing.

[bettermentofsociety]

Thank you so much for sharing this learning_curve74!  i hope it doesn't make you feel too sad b/c it makes me feel happy. for some people they see their whole r/s as fake. however i don't think every great moment i had with my ex was fake. sure she was troubled from the beginning, but, hey, i've got game baby!  I've made other beautiful women who weren't disordered just as happy. I realize there was a lot of deception and things i didn't understand during the r/s, but still i know many of the good times were just that, good 

Goldylamont, As I mentioned above, I don’t think the whole thing was fake. It was not fake for me,  but for her it was not the same experience.  She was not connected to me the same way I was to her. 

But as you say, I know that I can be in a healthy normal relationship with a beautiful woman making them happy as I have been in the past.    I know I will be again.  This is just the way I am choosing to try to heal—and it’s not for everyone as I said.

[mcc503764]

  And as someone has said on this board, the" Mac Truck" of emotional demise is headed his way and he is standing right in the middle of the road, his eyes are fixed squarely on the headlights.

While I know this is not for everyone, has anyone else enjoyed this type of liberation lately?

I believe it was I who used that metaphor.  Glad you enjoyed it!

It is personally liberating to "clean house," so to speak.  I've been there.  Remains of things she left behind went right into the dumpster.  I figured that if they weren't important enough for her to remember, then they weren't that important to begin with?

Was it "cruel," or "insensitive?"  Don't know... . don't care.  I didn't need the memory.

As for pictures, I have long gotten rid of them as well as they serve ME no purpose any longer!

It only keeps you in the past and prevents you from moving forward!

MCC

[goldylamont]

and yeah i totally agree with other posters that it's liberating to get rid of all the stuff you can. i have just a few things left, but i don't mind keeping them because for some reason these particular things don't trigger me and honestly i haven't looked at them for over a year. i have a couple pics we took years ago, that's about it.

but can you believe here are some other funny things i had to get rid of because it reminded me:

--stations she had added to my Pandora streaming music account

--movies she added to my Netflix, or movies i was going to watch with her.

--unlinked *all* photos of us together on Facebook.

--i threw away anything she had left over here as i found them.

--took every ounce of strength to give her back some of her valuables she left after moving out. i wanted to bash it all on the sidewalk in front of her face! but soo glad i didn't do this. i left them on her doorstep intact when she wasn't home. whew!

so, ya, all that's left are maybe 2 or 3 pics which i don't look at. i want to be able to see them in the future and have complete detachment and they aren't a part of my life now. weird thing is i still use her backpack and some gifts she got me but none of this triggers me in the least... . guess i'm lucky in this regard

[DeRetour]

Hey!

Betterment, and any of you who have successfully deleted/gotten rid of physical stuff/pandora stations/etc., I have a question for you all... .

Do you have any concern that you might want to have something (a photo, etc.) stored away somewhere that you could perhaps open up and look at someday when you're 90 - mostly as just something that documents that chapter in your life? I see that Goldy has done this.

Haha, I probably won't be too popular in this thread, but that's really my only reservation with going through and gutting my place (and all social media stuff).

deretour

[goldylamont]

that's a good question DeRetour i'd like to know what others think too.

also wanted to throw in there this idea--the concept of ritual. because in our "advanced" society we've done away with a lot of ritual, look down on "tribalism". i think it could be healing to make a ritual of throwing away stuff. or making a big pile of things and putting it on an alter somewhere and then burning it (could be dangerous  ) or dumping it in a trash compactor or something. hah, it's not really the action that you would do but the mental process of gathering the items and then discarding them in a way to signify your healing. i had planned to do this to a few items i had left, when i was in a positive mindstate to put it all together and then throw it all out, physically and psychologically, but it just kind of happened item by item over time.

[Ironmanrises]

I still have her texts on my older phone(16,000+)... .

I deleted the emails however... .

Still have her imessages on this ipad mini... .