finding the strength to stay NC

[papawapa]

I have put myself through a lot of pain in the last week. I got sucked back into her emotional hurricane after she sent me a text that she needed somewhere to go. I broke NC and talked to her. I see that she was looking to me for comfort and once she was over being mad at the replacement she went back to mostly ignoring me. I know that the best thing for me is to go total NC. I need some support from your wonderful people here. How do I keep myself from reaching out to her?

[myself]

Hi. Going through something similar here, we need to remember things like 'emotional hurricane' and 'she went back to mostly ignoring me'. It's easy, feeling love and compassion, to recall the good times, but the bad times are what drove us away and will keep us apart. These situations can even bring out the worse in ourselves, which we can work on while detaching, forgiving ourselves and changing our own patterns. Hard stuff, especially when you care about the person and know that they are hurting too, and you want to reach out but know it's just a temporary band-aid on a much bigger problem. I have to keep remembering why we're not together now, that she doesn't seek real help for her issues and that I need more in my life than constant back and forth between battles and often-deceptive feelings of bliss. WHY are you apart? WHY hasn't it become better when you stay together? WHY would you go back into that again and again?

[Bioman]

I have put myself through a lot of pain in the last week. I got sucked back into her emotional hurricane after she sent me a text that she needed somewhere to go. I broke NC and talked to her. I see that she was looking to me for comfort and once she was over being mad at the replacement she went back to mostly ignoring me. I know that the best thing for me is to go total NC. I need some support from your wonderful people here. How do I keep myself from reaching out to her?

wow

this may sound daft

get yourself a piece of A4 paper draw a picture of a big tree with loads of branches what ever order on you tree put the good and bad down take your time love emotion and this hurricane put it down on your tree

now watch your tree grow is it going to keep growing the way you would like it to or is it going to stop

take your time

Bioman