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Author Topic: How to help my BPD child move out  (Read 516 times)
RedMom22

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: mother-daughter
Posts: 3


« on: March 07, 2022, 04:40:38 PM »

My young adult child was recently diagnosed with BPD and is currently participating in an outpatient program for mental illness and drug abuse. She needs to live somewhere else as she becomes violent with me when she rages and I no longer feel safe in my own home. Looking for suggestions on how to help discuss this (and help her find housing) while limiting the abandonment she may feel and fear she likely feels knowing she needs to leave and "be on her own". I'm still willing to have a relationship with her but I need the physical boundary of not living together for my own safety and sanity.
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
Sancho
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Posts: 707


« Reply #1 on: March 09, 2022, 04:42:49 PM »

Hi Redmom22. Your situation is a common dilemma for parents of BPD children. I started about 18 years ago now, trying to establish BPD dd independently in her own place.

I am wondering if this could be part of the program that she is in ie can the process be started and planned with a counsellor, or mental health worker - so that it's not just you and your dd sorting this out?

Also do you have anything in mind as to the practicalities? That is, is dd able to support herself in her own place?

I think that while dd is getting help it would be the time to look at the details of how it would work. I wish I had done that all those years ago rather than trying to just make the change and hope it worked.
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