Blocking her phone.

[Depression = 72% of members]

Should I tell her that i'll be blocking her number? I can't trust that she'll not break no contact. I don't want to be completly ignorant as I do care about her.

[Eric1]

Should I tell her that i'll be blocking her number? I can't trust that she'll not break no contact. I don't want to be completly ignorant as I do care about her.

[Aussie0zborn]

And I care about you so my answer is no. Don't tell her, just do it. Do it for yourself.

[HarmKrakow]

Should you tell a drug addict that you locked his box of drugs?

Should you tell a liar that you don't want to talk anymore to that person because you don't trust him?

Etc...

No of course not.

[Ironmanrises]

Eric... .

If you dont block her phone... .

Then you must ensure... .

That when she... .

Reaches out to you... .

Again... .

Because she will... .

You know this... .

You must resist the urge... .

To respond... .

In any form.

That is to protect you from her.

That is to protect you... .

From yourself.

As well.

[ThanksForPlaying]

Phone blocking adds a lot more variables to the BPD stuff.  It gives them more things to manipulate... .telling someone you are blocking, actually blocking, threatening to block, offering to unblock, etc.

I got blocked and didn't know it because there was no cause to block me. We were saying "I love you" a day before the blocking. Then I sent a different kind of text asking "did you block me?"  And the reply was "I blocked you for a reason ... .stop stalking me ... ." and some other evil stuff.  Which is funny because it makes me feel like I'm the crazy one... .maybe I am the crazy stalker? Feeling like I might be the one with BPD - it's amazing the ways they can find to twist the whole situation.

One of my best "reality checks" is to look at who went from Love to Hate in a day.  Most people have to go through Love, Less Love, Like, Friendship, Dislike, Anger, then Hate.  But the BPD can go from one extreme to the other without passing through the rest.

Her reality right now: "We hate each other and he keeps trying to text me, what a psycho"

My reality: "We loved each other two days ago and I missed the part where we hate each other or broke up, so I'm just sending a text to say hi"

So with that ... .gotta go NC ... .the reason it feels crazy is because NC is not a normal behavior, it's a BPD behavior (silent treatment).  NC is unfortunately the only way to protect ourselves from this stuff, so it drags us into the craziness in a way.

I've had relationships where we broke up, remained friends, still talked every once in a while ... .so I know the normal stuff is possible.

[Ironmanrises]

Phone blocking adds a lot more variables to the BPD stuff.  It gives them more things to manipulate... .telling someone you are blocking, actually blocking, threatening to block, offering to unblock, etc.

I got blocked and didn't know it because there was no cause to block me. We were saying "I love you" a day before the blocking. Then I sent a different kind of text asking "did you block me?"  And the reply was "I blocked you for a reason ... .stop stalking me ... ." and some other evil stuff.  Which is funny because it makes me feel like I'm the crazy one... .maybe I am the crazy stalker? Feeling like I might be the one with BPD - it's amazing the ways they can find to twist the whole situation.

One of my best "reality checks" is to look at who went from Love to Hate in a day.  Most people have to go through Love, Less Love, Like, Friendship, Dislike, Anger, then Hate.  But the BPD can go from one extreme to the other without passing through the rest.

Her reality right now: "We hate each other and he keeps trying to text me, what a psycho"

My reality: "We loved each other two days ago and I missed the part where we hate each other or broke up, so I'm just sending a text to say hi"

So with that ... .gotta go NC ... .the reason it feels crazy is because NC is not a normal behavior, it's a BPD behavior (silent treatment).  NC is unfortunately the only way to protect ourselves from this stuff, so it drags us into the craziness in a way.

I've had relationships where we broke up, remained friends, still talked every once in a while ... .so I know the normal stuff is possible.

I am sorry you experienced that.

It is hurtful beyond.

In bold.

NC is not silent treatment.

Silent treatment is passive aggressive behavior... .

Designed to manipulate and hurt... .

Aimed specifically at the person... .

It is being done to... .

(The non)... .

It is a form of emotional abuse... .

That is not normal behavior.

NC is a last ditch measure... .

Done to try and give... .

The person that is being hurt... .

In such an abusive way... .

Space and time... .

To heal... .

Away from the corrosive effects... .

Of the abuser.

It is a wall to protect the non.

Hang in there.

NC will help you.

[Eric1]

I can't download the new iPhone iOS 7, so I can't block her.

I'm sticking to no contact. Starting to feel much better, still think about her and miss her. However, I can't change anything. The only thing I can change is me. So, I'm living in the here and now.

[Eric1]

And as soon as I start feeling good, my mind wanders and I ruminate on our relationship and what she's doing now.

Now I bloody miss her.

[HarmKrakow]

And as soon as I start feeling good, my mind wanders and I ruminate on our relationship and what she's doing now.

Now I bloody miss her.

You don't miss her. You miss what she projected on to you. You miss the love, which you gave her, and she projected that back on you. Basically you are missing what you gave yourself to begin with.

I know, i know, I know, you don't feel it that way and you put all those feelings around the physical existence of your ex. But i'm 100% sure (I know i'm pushing it here... ) You don't miss her. You miss something completely else. And I hope you will realize that

[Aussie0zborn]

You don't miss her. You miss what she projected on to you. You miss the love, which you gave her, and she projected that back on you. Basically you are missing what you gave yourself to begin with.

I know, i know, I know, you don't feel it that way and you put all those feelings around the physical existence of your ex. But i'm 100% sure (I know i'm pushing it here... ) You don't miss her. You miss something completely else. And I hope you will realize that [/quote]
Quote Of The Year!

[Aussie0zborn]

You don't miss her. You miss what she projected on to you. You miss the love, which you gave her, and she projected that back on you. Basically you are missing what you gave yourself to begin with.

I know, i know, I know, you don't feel it that way and you put all those feelings around the physical existence of your ex. But i'm 100% sure (I know i'm pushing it here... ) You don't miss her. You miss something completely else. And I hope you will realize that

Quote Of The Year!

[Perfidy]

Just block it and forget about it. My best advice from my own experience. No fanfare no bones... .Unceremoniously block her. I found my head in my butt because I didn't do this simple thing. The digital age and personal electronics add a whole other dimension to breaking up. Almost like extensions of our being. I'm not greatly fond of it.

[peas]

I got blocked and didn't know it because there was no cause to block me. We were saying "I love you" a day before the blocking. Then I sent a different kind of text asking "did you block me?"  And the reply was "I blocked you for a reason ... .stop stalking me ... ." and some other evil stuff.  Which is funny because it makes me feel like I'm the crazy one... .maybe I am the crazy stalker? Feeling like I might be the one with BPD - it's amazing the ways they can find to twist the whole situation.

One of my best "reality checks" is to look at who went from Love to Hate in a day. 

Her reality right now: "We hate each other and he keeps trying to text me, what a psycho"

My reality: "We loved each other two days ago and I missed the part where we hate each other or broke up, so I'm just sending a text to say hi"

Truth! A misunderstanding and he'd block me on his cell phone for days. He also made sure to block me on social media. Like I was some kind of monster. And you are so correct about their reality vs our reality: very far apart.

And Eric, regarding this:

Should I tell her that i'll be blocking her number? I can't trust that she'll not break no contact. I don't want to be completly ignorant as I do care about her.

You are fishing for reasons to contact her. Don't tell her you will be stopping her, just do it. She'll get the hint.

[Eric1]

I can't block the number as i can't download ios 7.

I'm trying to block my mind from thinking about her & keeping busy, but it's not working.

I think i'm now accepting that we will never be anything again, which is what hits home.

Maybe when i've found someone & with time i'll look back and laugh. But, at this moment, i do miss her.

[Accepting]

I can't block the number as i can't download ios 7.

I'm trying to block my mind from thinking about her & keeping busy, but it's not working.

I think i'm now accepting that we will never be anything again, which is what hits home.

Maybe when i've found someone & with time i'll look back and laugh. But, at this moment, i do miss her.

Yeppa... .I'm struggling too atm. Night time is worse or times where you're not busy or preoccupied. Just climbing in to bed hoping for solace in sleep. I won't think about him whilst sleeping then a fresh day keeping busy should keep the ruminating monster more safely at bay.

[HarmKrakow]

I can't block the number as i can't download ios 7.

I'm trying to block my mind from thinking about her & keeping busy, but it's not working.

I think i'm now accepting that we will never be anything again, which is what hits home.

Maybe when i've found someone & with time i'll look back and laugh. But, at this moment, i do miss her.

Finding someone will not help getting over a previous one.

Finding yourself will.

Why did you get into this relationship?

Why did you ignore the red flags?

Why did you keep entangled within this relationship after red flag 2513?

This can all, probably will all trace back to earlier problems surrounding you in the past and your BPD ex shed light on your issues.

[Ironmanrises]

I can't block the number as i can't download ios 7.

I'm trying to block my mind from thinking about her & keeping busy, but it's not working.

I think i'm now accepting that we will never be anything again, which is what hits home.

Maybe when i've found someone & with time i'll look back and laugh. But, at this moment, i do miss her.

Finding someone will not help getting over a previous one.

Finding yourself will.

Why did you get into this relationship?

Why did you ignore the red flags?

Why did you keep entangled within this relationship after red flag 2513?

This can all, probably will all trace back to earlier problems surrounding you in the past and your BPD ex shed light on your issues.

In bold.

Spot on Harm.