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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: how do i get out for last time?  (Read 455 times)
tnbh

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 11


« on: November 03, 2013, 03:09:09 AM »

I married a woman with BPD and bipolar and now realize I never knew the true her. She's manipulative controlling and has become more violent. I had to leave about 4 months ago and since then we've had no contact. It may sound like a silly question. How do I go about getting my personal things without her blowing up possibly having me thrown in jail? I had to leave with only the clothes on my back. I only want clothes and some tools. The rest I'll go thru a lawyer for. I have a feeling she'll start a fight and who knows how she could manipulate this situation. Any ideas? Thanks.
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fromheeltoheal
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up, I left her
Posts: 5642


« Reply #1 on: November 03, 2013, 03:13:45 AM »

You could take friends with you if you have close ones you can explain the situation to, then schedule a time and a time limit, go over there together, with the secondary benefit they can help you carry stuff.

Alternatively, call the cops.  If you are still married you have a legal right to enter the place, and cops could hang around while you get your stuff.  Good luck to you!
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tnbh

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 11


« Reply #2 on: November 03, 2013, 03:28:56 AM »

I know it seems so obvious as to how I could do this. I just never know who I'm dealing with. I'll go to the cops and explain the situation in case I have to call. Thanks for your reply.
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Surnia
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: 8 y married, divorced since 2012-11-22
Posts: 3900



« Reply #3 on: November 03, 2013, 09:45:10 AM »

  tnbh

Yes, get the cops informed is a good plan. And I would also look for some friends to be with you.

Keep us posted how it goes.

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