Anyone have experience changing phone numbers

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I am considering changing my phone number as the whole blocking number thing doesn't seem to be working... .it just seems a little dramatic, but I am in a ton of pain and keeping contact with him is just killing me at this point. I have asked him multiple times not to contact me and it doesn't work, and I find it extremely difficult not to respond to him when he does reach out to me. I just don't understand why he can't just let me go. He has a million other people in his life. Why does he need me too. 

Has anyone changed their number? Would you recommend this?

[Aw511]

I am considering changing my phone number as the whole blocking number thing doesn't seem to be working... .it just seems a little dramatic, but I am in a ton of pain and keeping contact with him is just killing me at this point. I have asked him multiple times not to contact me and it doesn't work, and I find it extremely difficult not to respond to him when he does reach out to me. I just don't understand why he can't just let me go. He has a million other people in his life. Why does he need me too. 

Has anyone changed their number? Would you recommend this?

[MangoMadness]

I have, but I caved in days later. Think hard about it, because if you act on impulse as I did, you may end up with a lot of regret. However, it sounds like you're done with him, which is good. If you feel that changing your number will prevent the worst, by all means, do it.

I wasn't ready to let go when I did it, which I regret because it was such a bothersome effort to do! Haha.

[frag1911]

As long as you are sure you are ready, then by all means change that number. 

My only suggestion is that before you go to the company to change the number, make a list of all the places you also need to notify, like schools, bank, insurance companies, doctor's offices, pharmacy, any personal or professional organizations or memberships, etc.  Go through your mail (postal and electronic) which might remind you of a place to notify. 

I spent over 20 years in the military, so this is something I had to do every time I had to move.  It sucks if you missed something or someone and then learn much later and too late. 

And of course your list of friends.  If you have any mutual friends, that's when you're going to have to really consider the possibility that they will even share the fact that you changed your number with him.  If they aren't close friends, should you even give them the new number?  If you do feel that you do want to keep in contact with them, how will they react when you ask them not to share it with him?  Even if he hasn't actively tried to bias friends, they may feel that you are just being dramatic or paranoid.

I hope this helps.  Just going through the process can be a help to healing.  The sense of taking charge and doing something positive can only be a help.

[alliance]

I'm not sure I understand how the blocking thing isn't working. If someone is really blocked, it works just fine.

However, I had the tendency to block, then unblock, then reblock. I think I wanted to see if the ex was trying to contact me and if they were, what were they saying. It was partly a fantasy thing, partly a testing thing, partly a what the heck am I doing thing, partly a weird kink in the detachment process.

When I blocked them and kept them blocked without peeking... .it worked just fine. Took a bit to get to that point tho.

I thought of changing my number and emails and such. It didn't feel right to me. Some may see the changing as taking their power back. To me, it was admitting this person still had power over me. It felt to me like a drama thing I was feeding into, i.e. running away.

I resisted the urge to change anything until my feelings settled down. Kind of glad I did.

[GlennT]

Changing mine did'nt work. She must have paid a detective or someone to trace my new # somehow down the line, a few years later  I am having better luck since I bought this new cell phone, and disconnected the land-line. You can't really block them if they use someone else's phone though.

[ShadowDancer]

Changing mine did'nt work. She must have paid a detective or someone to trace my new # somehow down the line, a few years later  I am having better luck since I bought this new cell phone, and disconnected the land-line. You can't really block them if they use someone else's phone though.

Same deal with me. How she would get my new numbers is quite the mystery to this day. Over all I have changed ALL avenues of contact THREE TIMES!

[Aw511]

Thank you all for your input. I think I will hold off on changing it until I am really sure. I have been very emotional and think I need to let things die down before making that decision. The blocking wasn't working at first because we have Iphones and up until a month or so ago, you couldn't block imessages, so even though i had blocked it through my cell carrier, he could still text me. Now, apple has added the blocking functionality. However, it is right there on your phone, which is very convenient, but also makes it WAY too easy to unblock. I used it for a week and it worked great but then i thought to myself hmm i wonder if hes trying to contact me, unblocked him, and now it has been a slippery slope back to misery. Just when i think i am gaining my footing I fall down again. It has been a mess.

[alliance]

Detaching is a slippery slope, with fits and starts. With time and some clarity, we eventually get to a point where we stop sabotaging ourselves.

[Juno]

Ask yourself this... .What does changing a number mean for YOU? Most likely your saying to yourself it means I'll never contact them again.  In the world that we live in that works, but in the world that our ex's live in it doesn't mean a thing. We're all human and I think a very small part of overall makeup craves a little attention. It doesn't mean we want to be worshipped by mentally unstable ex's. Yet, we do like to be wanted. When we make the conscious decision to change phone numbers part of our makeup is saying goodbye for good. Then the other side is asking us are you sure you want to do this? It's a tug-a-war. There is no easy answer. Yet, if you feel this is the only way to move forward, I think your half-way home to a better life. With that being said, I wouldn't get too confident changing your number will stop your ex from contacting you.

I changed my number many times. My ex found different ways of contacting me. She sent letters to my house, to my work, fb friend request's, fb private msg's, etc, etc... .I do think anyone that has changed numbers has crossed a bridge though. They have made a conscious decision to really break a bond and move on with their lives in a different direction. I think it's symbolic gesture to the intestinal fortitude they possess. You are basically standing up and denouncing  the injustice of it all. That in itself is more powerful that just changing a phone number.

[ShadowDancer]

I do think anyone that has changed numbers has crossed a bridge though. They have made a conscious decision to really break a bond and move on with their lives in a different direction. I think it's symbolic gesture to the intestinal fortitude they possess. You are basically standing up and denouncing  the injustice of it all. That in itself is more powerful that just changing a phone number.

JUNO! Bravo! Touche!