New mom with uBPD mother

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hi everyone!

I've lurked here for a while as I have been trying to confirm suspicions that my mother has a personality disorder. She can be best described in my childhood as "unpredictable." Very Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I feel like over time and distance and with age that her behaviors have mellowed out and I can actually say that we have a really good relationship now that I'm an adult. However, there are certain things she says or does on occasion that trigger memories from my childhood that just leave me feeling sad and icky. And, I just became a mother myself, and have fears that I will repeat some behaviors I experienced or witnessed in my childhood with my own daughter.

I have enjoyed reading posts here for a while now, but look forward to learning more about everyone and sharing my own stories as I further explore.

[sunshinemama]

Hi everyone!

I've lurked here for a while as I have been trying to confirm suspicions that my mother has a personality disorder. She can be best described in my childhood as "unpredictable." Very Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I feel like over time and distance and with age that her behaviors have mellowed out and I can actually say that we have a really good relationship now that I'm an adult. However, there are certain things she says or does on occasion that trigger memories from my childhood that just leave me feeling sad and icky. And, I just became a mother myself, and have fears that I will repeat some behaviors I experienced or witnessed in my childhood with my own daughter.

I have enjoyed reading posts here for a while now, but look forward to learning more about everyone and sharing my own stories as I further explore.

[GeekyGirl]

Hi sunshinemama and welcome! 

I'm glad that you decided to officially join us. Congratulations on your new daughter! Many of us here have shared your concerns and fears, so know that you're not alone.

What typically happens when your mother does things to give you that sad and icky feeling? It's great that you have a good relationship with her now--how have you both made that work?

While growing up with a BPD mother can bring on some difficult challenges, you're doing the right thing yourself and your daughter by working on yourself. I look forward to seeing you around here!

-GG