Remind me that this is normal (contact after so long, and still feel horrible)

[fiddlestix]

I hate that our exes have this much power over us... .even post-breakup.  We carefully monitor our every step so we don't encounter them.  And they don't seem to mind at all if they bump into us.  They seem to just move on, and seeing us causes them no stress at all.  I hate her power... .

Fiddlestix

[CdnSunrise]

Has anyone tried EDMR for processing these adverse emotional reactions to the ex? There's a thread about it here:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=37825.0

I'm thinking about giving this a try.

[charred]

Had some EMDR treatments for PTSD from the BPD r/s. It is good for disconnecting a phobia like response to a situation... but I would think it would be the opposite of "helping to process" the  reactions. A lot of what gets us in trouble is avoiding our feelings/emotions, disconnecting from them. Then we don't feel and we keep people at a distance, but feel blunted emotionally. The pwBPD ignores the things that keep a person at a distance (boundaries). and gets close to us... we love the apparent intimacy and closeness... and then get chewed up by the other issues they bring to the r/s.

I am finding mindfulness... staying present in the moment... to be very helpful, as well as refusing to run from or avoid any emotions... simply working through them. Its not always pleasant, but it feels genuine and right and the opposite of the egoic stressful faux living of the BPD r/s.