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Author Topic: Dear Yoda .. what now?  (Read 872 times)
Findingmysong723
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 210


« Reply #30 on: December 30, 2013, 03:30:31 PM »

I can't help but be drawn to threads about sex, the interest in having sex and then the withdrawing. Making sex something "dirty" by let's do it outside or in the car, which I'm not that interested in, since I can't relax and enjoy. However, if we had more sex in bed intimately then I would be willing to do some crazy stuff sometimes, but of course with this disorder intimacy and sex doesn't seem to work well. Also, when his anxiety was bad he would analyze every kiss or intimate experience trying to find something wrong with the situation... .so hard to take it mentally and emotionally! I had my own anxiety but man his anxiety was impossible to get around!
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damage control
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 475


« Reply #31 on: December 30, 2013, 03:41:36 PM »

Mine had/has massive anxiety issues as well ... he is very awkward socially and often people find him odd or strange or creepy and don't warm to him. He was bullied mercilessly as a teenager and this was the root cause of his emotional issues (combined with parents who just told him to toughen up or refused to believe him).

But ... along comes the internet  ... and even though I think he always managed to have a woman around - his ability to write well and express himself openly (he comes across as emotionally open and astute) have created a monster ... he can now seduce women with his words and the self that comes through in his writing so there are far more available than there once was ...

The sex with him is not about the biology of bodies, it's about finding the woman;s cre traumas and desires and really linking to them ... it's intense. Like yours, he also wants outdoors etc ... "beds are for sleeping" he would often say.

His interest in me, his addiction to me (he proclaimed to be addicted to me many, many times), his time and attention - sexually driven. Yes, we got along well and laughed/joked but sex was the glue that bound us - and I thought it always would ...
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Findingmysong723
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 210


« Reply #32 on: December 30, 2013, 05:10:26 PM »

My Ex didn't have that many friends, we spent a lot of time with a few of his friends but we spent a majority of time around his Mom, Dad, his older brother, the (middle)older brother, his wife and their kids. He wasn't a fan of crowds, he preferred going to movies later at night. Although, he had issues with panic attacks etc, which is why I think he started taking anxiety medication.

When we'd go out, he was always friendly to strangers and around his family he was always making jokes, him and his brothers jokes with each other all the time. However, around my friends and family he was pretty friendly and seemed comfortable for the most part. However, I remember he came up to meet my Mom for the first time and he was feeling nervous, and I walked down to meet him and started to go upstairs and "he was like, can you give me a kiss or hug or something," Also, we went to a friend of mine's daughters 4th Birthday Party and we were sitting outside on the patio and it was kinda cramped with all the people there and I could tell he was getting impatient with the seating arrangements. Then he accidentally knocked my drink over and some spilled on me and one of my friend's friend started teasing him about it. She was only joking but he was getting pissed. Luckily, my friend saw that we were uncomfortable trying to eat in tight quarters and asked if we wanted to eat in the house, which we did. However, maybe if we had stayed outside, his impatience and anger issues would of been seen in the light to my friend.

- his ability to write well and express himself openly (he comes across as emotionally open and astute) have created a monster ... he can now seduce women with his words and the self that comes through in his writing so there are far more available than there once was ...

I guess my Ex's humor is probably something that would attract someone to him, also his underdog story, he is a recovering alcoholic and has been sober for years. However, he has been sober, but he is like a dry drunk, still has alcoholic traits. The only time my Ex's words expressed himself in a way that made me feel he was trying to let me know about his issues and pain, was when he wrote me a letter. This letter also made me think that he wanted to change for the better and make our relationship better! My Ex wrote how he didn't respect himself and that he went for years thinking he didn't deserve love. He wrote about how he had trouble expressing himself, which I definitely had my own communication issues as well. Told me things that I could do to make the relationship better. Also, expressed how he wanted me to come out of my shell and how my nervousness reminded him of the way he was when he was a scared kid. Which I believe the things people hate in others is the very thing they hate in themselves! I'm not sure if I can believe in anything he said sometimes, but this letter he wrote made me feel this is the closest I could ever get to who he was... .or at least I hope so!

My Ex took medication for anxiety and I think for depression, he had took a bunch of pills, to this day I'm not sure what all of them were for. However, by the end of our relationship he stopped taking all of them, I don't think it was good since his behavior was getting worse. My Ex also had OCD and he said he had issues with obsessive thoughts, which I'm sure would make any relationships hard. I'm sure it didn't help with trying to have sex without over analyzing every move that was made.

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