Met her Psychiatrist yesterday and now I feel worse

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

The kids each saw their counselor who said they are starting to improve because there is no more screaming.

I test drove a new EAP-recommended T, but it was not a fit.

I went to her Psych who delivered her the dx of bipolar disorder.  He agreed it was a mood disorder, but would not commit to borderline.  He has not seen her, and has only heard her story.  But he is for her, and he supports her and her current meds.

I told him I thought letting her back into the house after she nearly smacked me with a frying pan ( which sent her to a private facility), smashing the glass cooktop instead would be a mistake.  Then after she finished her intensive Dbt program she begged to come home, and I did, only to have it blow up again. 

I am emotionally numb and cried myself to sleep.  I so want my kids to be in a n environment where there is no yelling; I am sort of waiting for the shoe to drop.  I cannot see myself causing more problems.  My meds are not working.  I have to want to feel better, but I feel so much shame for the 10 years of abuse I took that is unforgiveable.

And today I met a man who has been married 40 years to a version of my wife.  I told him about this website and told him to read stop walking on eggshells.  I hope he can see the light.

I guess I need to include my spiritual leader with this outcome.

[gary seven]

The kids each saw their counselor who said they are starting to improve because there is no more screaming.

I test drove a new EAP-recommended T, but it was not a fit.

I went to her Psych who delivered her the dx of bipolar disorder.  He agreed it was a mood disorder, but would not commit to borderline.  He has not seen her, and has only heard her story.  But he is for her, and he supports her and her current meds.

I told him I thought letting her back into the house after she nearly smacked me with a frying pan ( which sent her to a private facility), smashing the glass cooktop instead would be a mistake.  Then after she finished her intensive Dbt program she begged to come home, and I did, only to have it blow up again. 

I am emotionally numb and cried myself to sleep.  I so want my kids to be in a n environment where there is no yelling; I am sort of waiting for the shoe to drop.  I cannot see myself causing more problems.  My meds are not working.  I have to want to feel better, but I feel so much shame for the 10 years of abuse I took that is unforgiveable.

And today I met a man who has been married 40 years to a version of my wife.  I told him about this website and told him to read stop walking on eggshells.  I hope he can see the light.

I guess I need to include my spiritual leader with this outcome.

[Perfidy]