Weird little obsessions

[Our abuse recovery guide]

Does anyone else have a pwBPD in their lives that goes from one obsession to another? For instance... .

My mother was so obsessed with those powdered drink packets that she bought them for everyone in our family. She insisted on taking a cherry flavored kind to restaurants and ordering water, then putting her mix in, which embarrassed me. She finally had to stop because she had waiters tell her on three separate occasions that it was a health code violation, and she acted like she was personally attacked because they did.

She was obsessed with eating at Logan's Roadhouse for a while and even suggested I get a job there.

She gets obsessed with fad diets, etc.

She is most recently obsessed with making homemade burritos and wrapping them in foil, then offering them to everyone who visits and needs a snack.

She is obsessed with one of my cousins to the point that she is one of the only people she won't trash talk, if not THE only one.

On top of the obsessions that last no longer than a couple of months, she also has some OCPD traits. She is the most obsessively clean person I have ever known. She washes her car at least once a week, cleans her light fixtures every other week, hand scrubs her floors with a toothbrush, but she won't fix things in her home. Her garbage disposal has been broken for over a year, and she can't use that side of her sink (or her dishwasher, not that she ever used it, anyway) at all, even though my husband and I have offered to fix it if she will pick out a new garbage disposal. One of the knobs came off her dryer six years ago and she still has it but refuses to glue it back on. Her garage door is broken to the extent that she has to push the button and then physically lift and support it while it raises. The light in her laundry room has had a short in it since she bought the home nearly 10 years ago. I could go on and on.

In general, she frustrates me. When I was still enmeshed, I had decided that she definitely had issues, but at that point, I was not recognizing the way she treated me as abusive, so I thought she suffered from OCPD.

Now I'm rambling... .

[arky]

Does anyone else have a pwBPD in their lives that goes from one obsession to another? For instance... .

My mother was so obsessed with those powdered drink packets that she bought them for everyone in our family. She insisted on taking a cherry flavored kind to restaurants and ordering water, then putting her mix in, which embarrassed me. She finally had to stop because she had waiters tell her on three separate occasions that it was a health code violation, and she acted like she was personally attacked because they did.

She was obsessed with eating at Logan's Roadhouse for a while and even suggested I get a job there.

She gets obsessed with fad diets, etc.

She is most recently obsessed with making homemade burritos and wrapping them in foil, then offering them to everyone who visits and needs a snack.

She is obsessed with one of my cousins to the point that she is one of the only people she won't trash talk, if not THE only one.

On top of the obsessions that last no longer than a couple of months, she also has some OCPD traits. She is the most obsessively clean person I have ever known. She washes her car at least once a week, cleans her light fixtures every other week, hand scrubs her floors with a toothbrush, but she won't fix things in her home. Her garbage disposal has been broken for over a year, and she can't use that side of her sink (or her dishwasher, not that she ever used it, anyway) at all, even though my husband and I have offered to fix it if she will pick out a new garbage disposal. One of the knobs came off her dryer six years ago and she still has it but refuses to glue it back on. Her garage door is broken to the extent that she has to push the button and then physically lift and support it while it raises. The light in her laundry room has had a short in it since she bought the home nearly 10 years ago. I could go on and on.

In general, she frustrates me. When I was still enmeshed, I had decided that she definitely had issues, but at that point, I was not recognizing the way she treated me as abusive, so I thought she suffered from OCPD.

Now I'm rambling... .

[bright_future_mama]

Oh yes, yes, yes!

OCD.  Has every appliance and kitchen tool but doesn't cook.  Has every holiday decoration but doesn't put it out.  Gets new hobbies all the time, sticks for a while, gets grandiose ideas about getting rich quick or selling her wares, then it goes to the next thing.  Latest was beading until she realized how hard hand knotted necklaces were.  Buys tons of clothes but wears old, holey, too tight sweatsuits everyday.  One day she showed up at my house with conditioner matted in her hair.

She becomes so hyper focused on whatever it is she is doing during that obsession. I had someone tell me they had to call family services when I was a toddler because I would just be wandering around the apartment complex by myself.  She didn't work but never got things done.  Like we had picture frames all over our house with no pictures in them.  Kind of creepy.  I've never seen someone without a job be so "busy" but never really produce anything.  And we had a maid.  So I really don't know what she did all day.  She has always carried around this notebook with all kinds of lists and whatnot in it. 

When she does get focused on something, it's always to the extreme.  Like, instead of "I'm going to try to lose a little weight and eat healthier," it's "I'm going to get down to my high school weight."  She's 62! I remember my mom vacuuming my room in the middle of the night when I was in high school.  If she liked a pair of shoes and they came in 7 colors, she got every one and then put them in clear, plastic tupperware boxes and labeled them with a label maker.  But NEVER wore them.  She wears old t shirts everyday and always has.

She also finds a new hairdresser, masseuse, spa, whatever and they are her new best friend and we all need to go... . then it fizzles out.  Or so and so is her new best friend... . and that lasts a few months and then they figure her out.  She's opened three antique stores, three estate sales businesses, change cars probably six times in the past three years and is currently on a mission to find the perfect color of pink boots as the last ones she bought for $350 were rhubarb, not pink.  And could I please return them for her?  Because she doesn't know how?  Huh?  She had breast cancer and everything... . and I mean EVERYTHING she buys from jewelry to pocketbooks to shoes has to be pink.  (please don't think I'm being insensitive to breast cancer survivors)  Hers was caught really early and she didn't even have to have chemo which was such a blessing, but she tells EVERYONE from the waitress to the postman how she almost died, instead of how incredibly lucky she was.  No matter what we are talking about, it always goes back to the cancer.  So, the pink is a way to "scream," please ask me about my cancer so I can be the martyr. 

[Sitara]

Yes.  When she gets things, she has to get the whole collection.  She would also get into hobbies, often very expensive ones, and do nothing but that for awhile.  I remember as a child, she got a knitting machine and I don't know if it was my choice or not, but I ended up taking child-focused knitting classes so I could learn to use her machine too.  She did the fad diets also.

[Tincup]

My ExPBPD had OCD habits, like excessive hand cleaning, obsessed with fingernail biting.  Obsessed with her dog to the point that the dog ran her life.  And something that I found strange was she would be obsessed with one friend at a time. She would talk all the time about her girlfriend.  Almost always the friend was 20 years younger than her.  But only one at a time, and they would never do anything wrong in her eyes.

[arky]

So glad I'm not the only person here. My mother also tends to be obsessed with people. As I said in my first post, she is obsessed with my 31 year-old cousin (her niece), but she is also so obsessed with her best friend (who is married) to the point that my sister and I think they may be having an affair. She talks to her/about her more than I do with my husband, and I love him dearly. It creeps me out!

[SeekingHealing]

My uBPD father has been obsessed with buying antique furniture, stained glass lamps (i even counted them all one time and it was like 70 or some ridiculous number--and whenever people would come over, he would turn on every single lamp and give them the grand tour of the house so they could ooh and aah at his decorating), taking care of the lawn, washing cars by hand, screwing windows shut when going out of town (install security system, hello?), clothing, shoes and purses for my mother (yes, he chooses/buys her clothing) , etc.  Just like with the lamps, he always has to collect everything in a set or af least get a variety.  When they moved a few years ago to a house with stainless steel appliances, he had to buy all new stainless small appliances (and they have a lot), even though many of the ones they had were working just fine.  He also bought a motorcycle, which he hadnt had for decades, and had to buy every biker accessory out there, yet he doesnt even ride often.  And he is very obsessed with his success at work and with my mother since they were 15yrs old.

[hopealwaysss]

I can relate-  My uBPD mom has been obsessed with things like:

*classic book series (she's told me she has no interest in about half of the books but still needs to buy all of them so they are complete).

*she obsesses about male actors- she had a Johnny Depp phase for about three years.  She saw the first Pirates of the Caribbean 14 times in the theater.  Owns every film he has been in (but hates more than half of them- but won't throw them away).  This ended just about 5 years ago- so when she was 58 years old. She had posters, people... .

*right now she is on a ghost hunting kick (which she always hated when my dad and I would watch Ghost Hunters) but now she is doing a ghost hunting class and becoming obsessed with groups that go out at night.

*she also collects a lot of things for "emergency preparedness" through her obsession with Doomsday Preppers or whatever it is called.  She owns 8 flashlights, 10+ emergency blankets, 5 flame starters, two cooking stoves, etc. 

[hopealwaysss]

Just a little addition-

She also becomes obsessed with people- there was about two months that she constantly talked about a 19 year old girl in our church- invited her to all of our family functions, etc. Very awkward for that poor girl.  My mom would tell her that she was her best friend... . and my mom was 61 at the time.