I want complete detachment what the heck

[Rebuilding me]

Hi I recently discovered BPD and it answers so many questions and I'm 95% sure my ex is pwBPD! Today has been three months since she broke it off! In that time I have written a closure letter with no response! Asked her if she got the letter no response, sent Christmas card no response! It didn't make sense until I discovered BPD!

I have done all to get her out of my head sense she treats me like I don't exist! Erased texts, her phone number, unfriend on Facebook, etc... My problem is I am still on her family plan with my phone! My contract is up so it should be no problem for her to kick me off the plan! In some of my Unresponded texts to her I mentioned I understood that my line would probably just end one day! I have contacted our provider and she has to give permission for me to get off the plan so I can get my own! I can't get out of it! I have even had the provider call her to say I wish to get off the plan! They told me they left a message!

Tomorrow the new billing cycle begins, which would be another month with ties to her I don't want! I called the provider today to see if I got off the plan! I was anxious! It's a catch in my mind and heart! If I was off the plan I could finally move on, but then there is no connection! Which is what I want, but yet part of me doesn't! If I stay on the plan there is still a connection but I can't truly begin to move on and heal!

My question is: does this sound like typical behavior with a pwBPD! If she is so disrespectful towards me by not even acknowledging my words and texts, why would she keep her ex on her phone account? Does she just want to see if I will keep paying my share, although ultimately the responsibility is in her name to pay? what the heck am I supposed to do to fully detach if my name is still associated with her phone plan? What do I do?

[zsazsa]

If it were me,  I would send the phone back to her , not pay anything and get a new service for yourself.

Her reasoning really doesn't matter.

[Murbay]

Hi rebuilding me, I'm really sorry to hear about your dilemma and how frustrated it must make you feel.

I would have to agree with zsazsa on this one. The detatchment you seek is in your hands now. It may very well be that she hasn't taken you off so in some way whilst you are paying your share, she is able to do what she wants in her life but knows she has that attachment. It's time to take it back from her so you can have closure and move on.

Contact the phone company again, make sure they have everything on record. The fact they haqve tried to contact her puts you in good stead, just make sure they change over the billing details and then post the phone back to her. Preferably signed delivery so you have acknowledgement that she has recieved it and then get a new contract yourself.

I had something of the opposite with my exBPDw in as far as she wouldn't give me bank details to pay for my daughter in to. She had terms that I had to pay manually, not 2 weeks have gone past in the last year where she hasn't been in contact and pleading with me to respond to her. I kept the payment terms the same but found a way to automate it and in terms of her contacting me, I am going through a lawyer right now for a cease and desist and to inform her that any communication comes via legal channels.

The power to remove that attachment is now in your hands. I hope things work out for you and that you can finally have some closure 

[seeking balance]

Yes, this is typical behavior and yes it is the last thing we want to deal with when we are grieving.

I have to laugh only because everyone I know who has had to deal with phone plans has had the same issues - it is an act of God to change them and it does seem to require both parties.

My ex didn't go through the proper channels and it ended up costing me her penalty for switching before the contract was up.  Small price in the grand scheme of life.  So,  go into the store or call your provider, explain the situation (you need separate plans) and make it happen.  IF there are any penalties, do the fair thing and offer to split them and be done with it.

I know this is not easy with everything else, but the longer you are tied... . well, the longer you are choosing to be tied.