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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: Valentine's Day... blech  (Read 661 times)
sirensong65
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« on: January 28, 2014, 05:42:54 PM »

Anyone else already dreading this damn holiday?  My ex broke it off a week before Thanksgiving, thus screwing up THAT holiday and Christmas and New Years.  Now, I see the damn V Day stuff out everywhere, the commercials for it on TV and I am sick to my stomach thinking how he will be wining and dining some Skank.com whore that he just met but already KNOWS is THE ONE.

I'm celebrating it in a very strange way... going out to dinner and drinks with the two exes before me that became my friends after I started digging around about him after the break up.  He's left a trail of broken women... .   The exes are fabulous women and I guess are about the only GOOD thing that came of meeting him.  Sad... .
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santa
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« Reply #1 on: January 28, 2014, 05:46:43 PM »

A few weeks ago, I think I would have said that I will be dreading it. Now, I couldn't care less though. My ex and I had a fantastic Valentine's Day last year. Probably the best I've ever had. After breaking up and going no contact though, it really doesn't matter to me anymore.
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Perfidy
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Relationship status: Divorced/18 years Single/5 months that I know of.
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« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2014, 06:01:40 PM »

I'm with you Santa. I'm looking forward to it to demonstrate my don't-give-a-fu€kedness. Got a date for Sunday. AND I'm either getting myself a gold chain with a key on it or a diamond earring for vd. Or both. The key is the key to my heart which I will never give away. The diamond is for me forever. Selfish prick eh?
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joethemechanic
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« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2014, 06:13:15 PM »

I already told my BPDgf we won't be doing Valentines Day. In fact I told her not to even call. Seriously, I'm going NC a day or two before.

There is no way I'm giving her the opportunity to F up Valentines Day by stopping at the bar with her F ing waste of life scumbag friends for "a beer" and showing up 3 or 4 hours late and all trashed,
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Turkish
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Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2014; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
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Dad to my wolf pack


« Reply #4 on: January 28, 2014, 06:55:33 PM »

I too hate seeing the stuff everywhere.  She's already telling the guy she loves him.  Took us months of constant hanging out and her family accepting me for her to say that to me first  and even then it sounded forced,  like she was fighting it.  Whatever. WoE  on misty holidays and one horribly ruined  Valentine's day anyway with her.  what is there to miss?
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    “For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling
NoCRV
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« Reply #5 on: January 28, 2014, 07:09:07 PM »

Hey Everyone,

We have the same time frame Sirensong65, that's when my break up happened.  I am not actually worried about Valentine's Day but more of the triggers and memories of last years.  I went all out last year got everyone in the family flowers, bought a engraved gift which is probably in a landfill now, and some other gifts.  I do remember that Valentine's Day morning though, she picked a fight with me and I was unable to fix her surprise for her.  I had planned to fix up her place with other gifts and surprise her.  I am going to forget the good and remember the bad.
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Cimbaruns
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« Reply #6 on: January 28, 2014, 07:23:09 PM »

 In all actuality... . not dreading it at all... .

It was always a holiday that I "could never do enough" no matter what!

If I didn't plan something elaborate she would be visibly disappointed and hold onto how she really felt til a few weeks later then bring it up and make a HUGE DEAL out of it!

It had to be an expensive weekend away or an extravagant dinner... . flowers to work and or some sort of expensive piece of jewelry(Tiffany's or it was a bust)

Good heavens I finally don't have all of that to stress over... .

Shouldn't it just be about how much you love them and not about all these worldly expectations and material things... .

I'm just sad that it could never be just about US... . but then again it never was... . it was all about her

Happy Valentines Day all .   Do something for you!
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RecycledNoMore
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« Reply #7 on: January 28, 2014, 10:10:29 PM »

Heineken.
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Littleopener
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« Reply #8 on: January 29, 2014, 12:35:23 PM »

Valentines Day was going to be our one year anniversary.


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Pretty Woman
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« Reply #9 on: January 29, 2014, 06:16:48 PM »

Mine dumped me on New Year's Day last year and returned Feb 7th via email so we were together for Valentines Day.

I have plans this year thank God but part of me cringes wondering if she'll show up on the radar before then. My gut is saying yes given she tried to email me twice last week and when I didn't respond she unblocked me on FB.

Staying no contact.
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Cimbaruns
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« Reply #10 on: January 29, 2014, 07:53:51 PM »

Pretty woman

Yeah it's funny how they manipulate and come and go as they please for their own self serving convenience.

Mine did that to me 3 years in a row. ( of course I allowed her to pull me back so I'm not without fault)... .   Still... . So very manipulative

NC is definately the way to go

I hear ya
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willtimeheal
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Relationship status: Split 4-2013 trying to work it out
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« Reply #11 on: January 29, 2014, 08:10:59 PM »

Want to hear something sad... . I can't even remember if we were together  for Valentine's day last year.  The relationship has been recycled so many times I can't even remember if we were together. Honestly I am to the point where I don't even care. I thought when I got to this point it would feel different but if just feels... . blah. But a peaceful blah if that makes sense.
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hybridax

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« Reply #12 on: January 29, 2014, 08:27:27 PM »

I will be living it up in Mexico during V day and will be there for 11 days! She and my replacement can go f&^k themselves... .  which im sure they will do   
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RecycledNoMore
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« Reply #13 on: January 30, 2014, 02:06:36 AM »

Homemade ghillie suit n highpowered rifle? Smiling (click to insert in post)

Jokes mods, I angry not maniacal... .

Yet... .
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Free2Bee
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Relationship status: 10 months NC with my exUBPD partner.
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« Reply #14 on: January 30, 2014, 01:40:41 PM »

I started dreading it the minute stuff started appearing in stores. I work most evenings, so usually I can't celebrate the holiday anyway. But this year? It's on a Friday, the night she and I were often together.

I don't have any plans (I do work until 7:30 on that night) but maybe I'll order a pizza or something. Blech. Does this get any easier?

By the way, has anyone else found themselves browsing the cards section in the stores? I had to stop myself because it was making me to depressed... .
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