Doing DBT self-help workbook with my partner.

[Border_Lover]

My uBPDgf and I lived together for three years and now we are currently in a LDR. We each ordered the workbook:

"The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation & ... . Tolerance (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook)"

With plans of completed it together over the phone. Will this be positive, and will it be taken as supportive. Or do you think it may add pressure to her? She is aware of her BPD, and is in the process of getting therapy. It was her idea to order the book, and I asked her if she wanted me to do it with her and she sounded excited about that and said yes. I just wanted to get some opinions on it. I would hate to do anything that could jeopardize her recovery if I can avoid it.

Thank you.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[CPWUSAF33]

My uBPDgf and I lived together for three years and now we are currently in a LDR. We each ordered the workbook:

"The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation & ... . Tolerance (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook)"

With plans of completed it together over the phone. Will this be positive, and will it be taken as supportive. Or do you think it may add pressure to her? She is aware of her BPD, and is in the process of getting therapy. It was her idea to order the book, and I asked her if she wanted me to do it with her and she sounded excited about that and said yes. I just wanted to get some opinions on it. I would hate to do anything that could jeopardize her recovery if I can avoid it.

Thank you.

I am one of the least experienced posters on here--I'm in the learning phase and in the middle of all of the lessons on here.  However, IMHO, I think what you and your partner are doing is absolutely WONDERFUL.  And to thnk it was her idea--Wow that's a BONUS!  As with any endeavor with a pwBPD, you may run into some dark moments along the way; but, I think the potential positives are worth the risk.  I pray for your success and wish you both the very best!

[Cloudy Days]

My husband is more likely to do things if I help him with whatever it is that he is doing. I think you both going through it together sounds like a great idea. It will allow you to learn skills that you also probably need to learn and it takes the pressure off of her being the only person getting help. So it's more of a shared learning experience and doesn't alienate her as screwed up.

Good Luck! I may try it myself, what book is it that you said you bought?

[Love Is Not Enough]

I have read about 90% of the book myself and think it is a great resource. I originally wanted to present it to my undiagnosed gf, but have never been able to gather the courage to tell her anything about BPD. Nowhere in the book does it mention BPD, except on the back cover 

If your gf is BPD aware and ok with it then I think both of you could work through the book together. It is really great information for anyone. I am trying to remember if there is anything "triggering" in there that you would want to avoid. I do not think that there is, but you should look through it yourself before agreeing to do it with her as you know her best. I would try to avoid discussing any specifics about herself as this could trigger her and always remember that you are not a therapist. Just encourage her to do the exercises and leave the heavy stuff to a T.

Maybe my gf and I will work through it together someday. She has just recently started DBT, so for now I'm leaving her therapy to her T. Please report back how this goes for you.

[joethemechanic]

I could never do LDR with a BPDgf. It just makes it too easy for them to sleep with another guy.

I mean, if you are sending her money for weed or whatever, how does it make you feel if she is using it to party up with someone else? You're 6 hours away, she could be telling you anything. You have no way of verifying.