I dread posting here some day. So far, my kids are doing 'okay'.

[ogopogodude]

I covered a few threads here in this category,  and I just started to weep reading reading some of them. I have two teenagers (with their mother being undiagnosed --as far as I know-- and untreated --as far as I know-- BPDex-wife) and they are as healthy as any teenager should be…… Neither of them  show signs of temper rages, or talking in circles, or weird behaviour that falls outside the realm of 'norm' .

I would be devastated if one or both of them started to exhibit signs and symptoms of what their mom certainly has later in life like my wife.

I would do anything for my children.

They both realize that their mom has a problem and they know what it is called as I  have educated them and they do not want to "turn out like her".

I was/is so thankful that God was good to me and my kids for our health. And I hope and pray it stays this way.  To those that are parents of a BPD child, … I soo empathize with you. It is one thing having a spouse that is afflicted with BPD (as one can always consider divorce path, like I have chosen) but one cannot divorce their child. Yes, ... NC is a consideration but this is just like divorce, I suppose.

Is there anything I should be watching out for? I will tell you that I would love to get my teens into therapy with me but that would be impossible. They just want to live normal lives. (Once in a while, though, one or both of them will watch a youtube video on BPD, like that one of Tami Greene that talked at the congressional hearing, … this video actually captivated my daughter's interest at one point).

[pessim-optimist]

If you are observing your kids and are finding them healthy so far, that's great.  They may have won the "genetic lotery" and may turn out fine.

You now know what behaviors to watch for, so if you start observing any in your children in the future, you will know what tools you need to use with them, and hopefully get them into the right kind of therapy... .

In the meantime, they may need your support in dealing with your ex-wife's unhealthy behaviors in order to develop and mature in a healthy way - a good, strong father that can validate his children's experience and teach them the needed tools can be a big difference in their lives.

Fostering a healthy love for their mother without accepting her dysfunctional behaviors is key. They need to learn what healthy behaviors are and how to effectively protect themselves from the unhealthy behaviors of their mom. You and/or a therapist can be of great help in this... .

[ogopogodude]

yeah, I guess i do inherently know already what to look for…

My kids know when to simply tune their mom out when she begins to "act weird" as they put it.

Yes, ... I will make sure to validate my teens' feelings when they experience any shenanigans of their mom.

I do tell them to call their mom or text her from time to time and I always say to them "remember, kids, ... she is the only mom that you got, … I love her just as much as you kids do, ... but she needs help as we all know"