Tough day missing her. Email I didn't send.. She would ignore and I'd feel worse

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

You walked on me for no reason. Yes we went to jail because you called the cops for no reason. You brought your ex into our relationship. You put us in this ridiculous situation that no one ever finds themselves in.

As usual you went way over the top because you were drinking every day and eating pills. Now you can't go back and tell everyone it was your fault. You caused all of this. I've always been one to own my part in things and even apologize when I wasn't at fault just to make peace.

All I ever did was love you and want you to stop drinking. What about what you did to (her five year old). We loved each other. We were as close as ever. I didn't know that would be the last time I saw him.

I can't wrap my mind around what you threw away. I feel that now you regret it and are miserable also. I miss you and every day is a struggle and why? We were in love as two people could be. We got married and were going to do this. It makes no sense. Life is too short to live like this.

[buddy1226]

You walked on me for no reason. Yes we went to jail because you called the cops for no reason. You brought your ex into our relationship. You put us in this ridiculous situation that no one ever finds themselves in.

As usual you went way over the top because you were drinking every day and eating pills. Now you can't go back and tell everyone it was your fault. You caused all of this. I've always been one to own my part in things and even apologize when I wasn't at fault just to make peace.

All I ever did was love you and want you to stop drinking. What about what you did to (her five year old). We loved each other. We were as close as ever. I didn't know that would be the last time I saw him.

I can't wrap my mind around what you threw away. I feel that now you regret it and are miserable also. I miss you and every day is a struggle and why? We were in love as two people could be. We got married and were going to do this. It makes no sense. Life is too short to live like this.

[NyGirl8]

Hi Buddy,

I get your tough day.  Having one here.  I am sorry you are missing her and her child.  An innocent in all this .  I must applaud you on your strength to not send it though.  I can feel your sorrow in it, your frustration, even love, and pain.  I get that, I feel that, I empathize and want you to hopefully find something to comfort you on this tough day.  She would not.  So, I am glad you sent it here!  And now    to you, thoughts of peace, and hopes that tomorrow is better for you!

Keep it up!

[LettingGo14]

Buddy,

Sending you support as well.  I have been in very similar boat.  Thought xBPDgf was the one.   Keep posting and reading here.   We'll help each other.

[Tausk]

I can't wrap my mind around what you threw away. I feel that now you regret it and are miserable also. I miss you and every day is a struggle and why?

It makes no sense. Life is too short to live like this.

Hey Bud:

Thanks for posting.  Understand every word you wrote because outside of the child, everything else had been said and written by me over and over and over.

It hurts like hell.  And maybe the quotes above are the hardest parts.   We all felt what your wrote.

And it doesn't make sense, but there a reason for the pain and the reason things are the way they are.  It's a Disorder.  But life is worth living and moving forward.  So all we can do, in small doses is try to learn the tools including radical acceptance.

But in the meantime, keep posting and venting.  It helps me to know I'm not alone.

T