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Hope in Bondi Beach
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« Reply #1 on: February 26, 2014, 08:42:29 PM » |
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Then: i was dating a BPD girl 9/9 traits diagnosed…I tried…i read all of randys books, and a dozen others, i studied BPD for 2 years... anything i could do to be the best partner.
Even when the books said only a 3% chance of a successful relationship with a borderline, i wanted to be in that 3%.
Affection of any kind stopped 6 months before the end, i would be belted, kicked and spat on... but when i left to get to safety, she would assault me in the stairwell begging me to stay, with a face punch or two, sometimes chasing me in my car with hers at dangerous speeds, the wrong way down freeways. Insane. I allowed myself to be isolated from all my family and friends, her reality became mine.
I had to walk face down in malls, heaven forbid i was seen looking in the direction of another girl, in the end when leaving, i was stabbed and run over, then while bleeding had to keep her from killing herself…all about her. So selfish.
It was very very toxic.
that first 6 months apart was the most pain i have ever felt….I had taken on BPD traits, like the books warned, i hated myself... why couldn't i make this girl happy, i did all the things a loving man would (except leave her). She'd hit me…i'd say sorry. I self harmed to take the pain away.
But oh my did i learn some lessons...
3/4 years later….i love myself, finally…Im calm, never get angry… when i meet people who rave on... im cool, after her, it would take WW3 to get me going. I see how sick it was, how toxic it was, it wouldn't matter who she dated…it was ALWAYS going to turn out this way.
She should have a health warning on her forehead, in fact its selfish for her to go out with ANYONE.
Time on my own was great for growth…take as much as you need, the more time the better.
Now Ive met a wonderful woman, we talk, we create intimacy, she says I'm the most amazing man ever... a good listener, empathetic, kind, patient etc etc….lessons learned. Thats the positive of dating a BPD, you will be tuned highly to others needs. And in a healthy way always be there for them.
I never allow anyone to treat me like that again…. I'm in a healthy relationship, the best ever, and am happy.
Read my posts raving on, trying to fix her…... in my experience they can't be, or it takes 20 years, and your life is sacrificed in the hope they might be nice one day.
Im so glad it's over. BPD family helped me get through that, but not before i tried it my way and suffered first.
you must make them responsible for their actions... ….if its an arrestable offence…call the police and earn a BPD's respect.
This is serious stuff people, your life is on the line….if you can….remove yourself…VERY CAREFULLY.
HOPE
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