Started therapy for my children today

[Depression = 72% of members]

The therapist immediately picked up on my son's lack of boundaries.  My dBPDh uses my son for emotional gratification and pushes boundaries with him. He is overly affectionate, even though it really isn't appropriate.  I knew this was true but to have a professional tell me, was still upsetting.  She also pointed out that my son told her how my husband attacked me and then said, no it didn't happen.  He is grappling with his father's inappropriate behavior, I also knew this was true but it is heartbreaking to hear a professional tell me.  My daughter will go next week, I know that the kids need the outside support.  It just makes me feel more like my husband needs to stay away from the kids.

[MissyM]

The therapist immediately picked up on my son's lack of boundaries.  My dBPDh uses my son for emotional gratification and pushes boundaries with him. He is overly affectionate, even though it really isn't appropriate.  I knew this was true but to have a professional tell me, was still upsetting.  She also pointed out that my son told her how my husband attacked me and then said, no it didn't happen.  He is grappling with his father's inappropriate behavior, I also knew this was true but it is heartbreaking to hear a professional tell me.  My daughter will go next week, I know that the kids need the outside support.  It just makes me feel more like my husband needs to stay away from the kids.

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[bpbreakout]

Good luck with it. I started my daughter with a therapist when she was 9. Now she is a teenager she really needs the outside input to help deal with her Mum's constant criticism. Hopefully when D15 grows up and if she does have any childhood issue that cause her problems, it will be a bridge for her if she ever needs to work through anything. 

[MissyM]

Thanks, bpbreakout.  My kids just turned 9.  Hoping this, combined with me having better boundaries with their father, will help them overcome these issues.  My kids have no problems at school or with friends, I just want to make sure that they don't develop into big issues as they get older.  How is yours doing as a teen?  Seems that is when some of my kids issues would start to really show.

[bpbreakout]

Hi MissyM maybe worth checking some of my other posts about life with teen and BPDw to give you a flavour of what it's been like for us - frankly not easy at the moment. Someone said to me something to the effect that when teens are playing up is when the grown-ups need to be at their most grown up so I really feel like I have a lot to deal with at the moment and sadly I don't feel supported by BPDw. However, I do get get good support from FOO, a therapist and close friends to a degree, couldn't possibly do it on my own.