Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
October 31, 2024, 06:10:49 PM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Survey: How do you compare?
Adult Children Sensitivity
67% are highly sensitive
Romantic Break-ups
73% have five or more recycles
Physical Hitting
66% of members were hit
Depression Test
61% of members are moderate-severe
108
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
> Topic:
Lack of trust
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Lack of trust (Read 450 times)
empath
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 848
Lack of trust
«
on:
March 26, 2014, 03:16:41 PM »
Recently, uBPDh and I were watching a television show, and afterward, he commented that companies don't really care about their employees anymore. He has been having a difficult time at work in the recent months, and one of his work friends was let go for an incident. He thought it was unfair, and the situation left h without a friend at work. So, then he says that in general companies don't take care of their employees anymore and that he can't trust his employers. The only one that he can trust is himself which is why he has been 'self employed' and changed jobs quite often. Then, I said that it seems like it is hard for him to trust people in general. He affirmed that -- he was emotionally abused by his dad and his mom didn't stick up for him. So, he was left alone to deal with things. He feels like everyone will let him down and he cannot continue in a situation when people have disappointed him personally.
We've had a number of additional stresses lately, and he has said that if there was another job open he would apply for it. That is the normal way that he 'deals' with his trust issues with employers; change jobs. (of course, it doesn't usually help in the long term) He is also feeling like he has been a failure in his career because he couldn't stick with a job. Our son is graduating from university soon and is searching for a job. The ones that he is applying for are in prominent companies with a lot of potential -- which triggers husband's feelings of regret and failure.
Earlier this week, husband was getting the children up for school, and he yelled at dd to get up. He started acting very 'grumpy' through the day. When I came in to help dd get ready, she mentioned 'dad's anger issues' that she was scared about. I decided not to wait until he asked for help at the last minute (which just makes me upset because he waits until the last minute to tell me that he wants help).
We were also talking recently about his 'visions' of hurting himself. He has been having these fairly often and is distressed by them. He said that they seemed to be dissociative visions that he experiences as if they were real including physical sensations. I expressed concern about those -- he did, too.
Oh, and he has been keeping me up late at night.
I just keep these things in my head... . I suspect that if others put these things together, his future career plans may be jeopardized.
Logged
PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES
This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.
Livestrong97
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 38
Re: Lack of trust
«
Reply #1 on:
March 28, 2014, 03:22:07 PM »
Hi, I can relate as I too have an uBPDh and kids who don't understand that it's a disorder. I'm not much help to you other than a sympathetic ear as it seems we are in similar situations. I can say that stressful situations such as money or big decisions are always triggers. Mine never talks about hurting himself but he does have nightmares on a regular basis that I can't get him to talk about. How do you help your kids? Best of luck with the job hunt.
Logged
empath
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 848
Re: Lack of trust
«
Reply #2 on:
March 28, 2014, 04:43:22 PM »
With the kids, I usually try to be the parent that they see most often and to be a safe place for them. I also have to talk to h about the kids, what they need, how they react to things, and who they are. (the idea that they are different than he is) A few weeks ago, my d and I talked a bit about 'dad's anger issues'; she remembered an incident from a few years ago.
My parenting style tends to be pretty open and honest about things that happen in an appropriate way; I figure that the kids need to be able to learn about life while being supported and taught.
Logged
Livestrong97
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 38
Re: Lack of trust
«
Reply #3 on:
March 28, 2014, 05:31:23 PM »
That's great. Me too. I hope that since our kids have us we will help them to know positive techniques to handling stress. It's crazy, when my kids stress out my husband stresses more and throws a temper tantrum. Good luck - stay in touch if you want to bounce things off of one another.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
> Topic:
Lack of trust
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...