Hi Cassia13,
I would like to welcome you and I have noticed that other Ambassadors have welcomed in previous posts. I would like to take the opportunity to greet you because I missed the previous posts. I would also like to tell you that I am truly sorry about what you are going through. It must be difficult with your financial resources at the moment, your son being attached to your bf and what he is putting you through emotionally. I share a similar experience and I understand what it feels like when your SO is detaching, but looking for physical pleasure elsewhere. It hurts like hell.
As I stated, I can see that other Ambassadors have given you a board for staying, I will give you the board for undecided for now. You are going through a difficult period. You have a valuable resource here at bpdfamily.com. It's open 24/7 for you. People here understand what you are going through because they have experienced it.
My STBX is undiagnosed as well, and I understand how frustrating, painful and confusing that it can be. Often, you are not taken seriously by family members and friends because a) most of the disordered behaviors happen behind closed doors and b) there is no dx.
I wouldn't get hung up on if he is diagnosed or not. I wouldn't be able to convince my ex to get diagnosed no matter how hard that I tried. One of the core components of many for this disorder is denial. Think of it like an alcoholic and how they are in denial and it can take many years for them to come to the realization, that they have a problem. Having said that, I choose what behaviors that I will allow from others upon myself and I don't worry about what diagnosis my ex has. I can choose to set boundaries, learn communication tools to smooth the edges, and I read as much as I can to learn about the disorder. I also come here often if I feel like I am confused, hurt, frustrated and vent and get support from fellow members that truly understand. Hang in there Cassia13, there is hope.
As I said, I will leave you with the link to the undecided board and you can look around on the other boards. I know that you said that you moved, and you cannot afford to move, but do you have access to a therapist? How is your support network?
Undecided Board: Staying or LeavingI'm glad that you have found us.
- Mutt