How to manage going through a divorce

[Depression = 72% of members]

Question,

What's the best way to mitigate the constant raging and abuse during the divorcing process?

[SKyDancer]

Question,

What's the best way to mitigate the constant raging and abuse during the divorcing process?

[Want2know]

I read through some of your posts and see that there has been some back and forth about divorcing her.  Have you actually filed the papers?

It's going to be tough if you are still living in the same house.  Your feelings for her most likely will be all over the place from questioning if you are doing the right thing to wanting to be done with it. 

Plus, you have a daughter involved, which I see that she has mentioned her fear of you taking her away - have you spoken to an attorney about custody?  This is really important, as if she believes she will lose her daughter, regardless if you tell her that you are ok with shared custody, she could do things that may make you look bad in hopes that it will back her case up.

[SKyDancer]

Filed no, in the process of filling out the paperwork yes.

My feelings aren't really back and forth as she's been pretty consistent on he anger and raging. Every once in a while she'll apologize which does spin me some but deep down, I know it's the best thing for me and my daughter.

I just don't know how to "play" into the emotions to keep it as stable as possible. The reality of it is, I do want what's best for all of us, including her. The emotions are what will cause damage in the long run and I'd like to mitigate some or all of it.

[Want2know]

I just don't know how to "play" into the emotions to keep it as stable as possible. The reality of it is, I do want what's best for all of us, including her. The emotions are what will cause damage in the long run and I'd like to mitigate some or all of it.

Have you spoke to an attorney about the process, including custody of your daughter?  Believe it or not, they may have some practical advice regarding this topic.

Keeping the peace may mean that you treat your interactions in a business-like manner.  Think of your 'job' right now as one where you are looking to make a deal with a business contact.  You want the best outcome for you and to give enough that your deal is appealing to the other.  Keeping the emotions out of it as much as possible is going to be a challenge.

What is the actual next step in filing the papers?  What is holding up this process?