I am afraid of him

[drv3006]

Bear with me. I am typing this from my cell. I am afraid. I have Bennett NC since April 7. The day before that he had pinned me down and was screaming in my face. I could not get free. That was enough for me.  Anyway he has driven by my house, sent nice and then mean text (which that is the norm). But he keeps sending me this picture of me and his mom when she was dying in the hospital.  I have not responded. His brothers bday was yesterday and he sends me pictures of him (his brother is mentally retarded) and his birthday is tomorrow. I am sick. I can't stand these picture text and his begging for me to be there. He knows he is mentally ill and uses that as his excuse my opinion i guess.  I told him i would not contact him until he wnet back to counseling.  He has so many legal troubles already and i hate to give him any more but i can't stand this waiting. Its like is he gonna drive by show up. It makes me nervous. I know this sounds nuts but it is almost more of a relief when he is here and i can see his moods rather than this trying to break a way and these pictures of his dying mother or drive by.  I can't tell if i am scared or just stupid. I just wish he would back off 

  I have been on all of the categories on this forum but once he pinned me down i was nuts   one thing i see on all of the catgegores here staying undecided or leaving  the person with BPD never seems to change. And all the post r similar as in "what the F".  Were any of you afraid.  My guy knows he is ill has taken dbt and intellectual and psychologically uses what he learned to make this all worse  thanks for letting me state how i feel

[drv3006]

And his mom passed away last year and he keeps sending me these picture. I was with him through the entire thing

[Narellan]

My ex never raged or was violent but he probably had the potential to be. I have been afraid of him at times because of his erratic impulsive behaviours. I want to stay on his good side. Mine is a professional photographer and he has hundreds of photos of me, lots of nudes too and he sends me photos and posts them on FB. I had to break 3 weeks no contact to ask him to delete a topless ( tasteful couldn't see anything cos my hands were covering my breasts) but all the same, some aren't so tasteful and I'm scared because it will destroy me if he posts them. This is why we're still FB friends and I'm treading softly softly. He also posts photos ( nudes) of his last girlfriend if several years. He's away travelling now for a few months so I'm not looking over my shoulder, but I do regularly check his FB posts. I don't trust him. The fear for me us for my reputation not my safety, although during our first split he rang both my phones (10 times) and messaged repeatedly before turning up on my doirstep and that fid freak me out a bit. but i was slso flattered snd fell for his bs and returned to him. i really feel for your situstion. i guess there are steps you can take if you think things are escalating. The photo thing seems to be part of their behaviours, continuing to revisit old happy times or times when they valued your affection and presence. They don't seem to move on do they ?

[chillamom]

Hi, drv,

I fully understand the fear.  Is it too drastic to suggest that you spend the night at a friend's?  Or even a hotel?  It is short term stuff, but it seems like he might be having a very extreme reaction to the anniversary dates that are coming up.  Whatever you do, please be very strong and don't let him guilt you into seeing him….it sounds like his emotions are pretty raw.  I am very scared of my exBPDbf….especially since he showed up at the doorstop twice yesterday.  The second time I stood near the door and pretended to be on the phone with the police, and he left.  He since has texted and called over 30 times and is just incessant.  I am scared NOT to give in to him and just as scared TO give in to him.  Your ex sounds smart and self-aware enough, however, to understand that legal trouble may ensue if he tries to come over, so I think you're probably good…... I wonder if there will ever come a day when our nerves and emotions aren't all jangled up!  Please take care and keep us updated.

[HappyNihilist]

drv, I hate that you're having to go through that. I understand the fear completely.

These articles might help in some way:

"Leaving a Partner with Borderline Personality" - https://bpdfamily.com/bpdresources/nk_a110.htm

"Tips for Leaving a High Conflict Partner" - www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stop-walking-eggshells/201011/tips-leaving-high-conflict-partner

The important thing is to focus on your safety -- physical and emotional. Do you have friends or family you can maybe stay with for a few days?

[drv3006]

Thanks everyone. Well i have people to stay with however. I never really told them about how he is!  See i thought he was trying and i didn't want to dog him. Anyway some people know but to tell u all the truth i have been in worse situations than being restrained. (Which is why i refuse to tolerate it.)  But part of me feels like i am making it bigger than what it was. Its just he literally is just too much. 300 text almost every weekend.  Nothing i do is ever enough and every name in the book and now restraint. I sent him a picture of my bruise wrists and never apologise. Said he didn't do that and won't apologise. I know this is how it starts.  Anyway all quiet now