Fight club

[Depression = 72% of members]

After the end of my ltr with my BPDexgf, she left in the smoke screen she had been laying down all our time together i see now. Felt like i had just arrived at the ending of the fight club film. I was shell schocked and for a second if some one had just popped up between us at the pub with a film clapper board and said cut it wouldnt of been out of place. All actors go home. Feel so lost and confused what the hell just happened was i in a narrative script of hers for 10 years, oh dear minds gone into overdrive.

[neverloveagain]

After the end of my ltr with my BPDexgf, she left in the smoke screen she had been laying down all our time together i see now. Felt like i had just arrived at the ending of the fight club film. I was shell schocked and for a second if some one had just popped up between us at the pub with a film clapper board and said cut it wouldnt of been out of place. All actors go home. Feel so lost and confused what the hell just happened was i in a narrative script of hers for 10 years, oh dear minds gone into overdrive.

[lemon flower]

yes... .

it's quite unbelievable that this can be the end of a 10 years r/s but you describe it very good and underneath these sentences are many things that you need to explore for yourself, but that will come gradually

It must be very hurtful for you now, take your time to get back to yourself and maybe try to find some people to talk to so you can ventilate some of your feelings and worries to people that you can truly connect to... .

good luck   

[neverloveagain]

Hey triss thank you for your kind words. Yea i have codependant problems so ive been pouring gasoline and all of myself into this broken dream guess we complimented each others problems  thats why we went so far but no further. I knew she had devalued me months before break up she started to talk and act different changed her hair and entire wardrobe, oh dear the mirroring of her replacements i was stupid not to see it coming.

i cant talk to my normal friends get the usual get over it shes just a woman plenty more fish in the sea. Gets on my nerves and makes me shut down into myself rant over.

[antjs]

this film has a lot of resemblance of a relationship between BPD and non. It is like you have been idealizing yourself. it is like you moved in with yourself or your own idealized projection. The mirroring that they do gets you to an euphoric state of mind where you not only listen to her words and feel this is good to be true this is what i have been waiting my whole life to hear from my dream partner but also you see that your partner is perfect (which is not true they just cope with mirroring your needs as a bait until they get you then they start the abuse). the aftermath brings the shock that it was just all fake. My therapist told me that pwBPD really love you during the idealization phase but i dont think this is true. even for diseased people i think they can trace the pattern and see that they always do so with multiple partners. i think that by time that they are aware of what they are doing but since they are selfish and lack empathy then for them there is nothing against screwing people emotionally just to get my needs right now.

[neverloveagain]

Very well put. The old its too good to be true it probably is. Like she is just a ghost.