He just started abusing my sister

[Depression = 72% of members]

I'm in panic mode again. All has been quiet for 10 weeks, while he was happily trying to seduce my best friend behind my back. I noticed yesterday he has now deleted her from FB so I was kinda feeling smug... . She's was off the pedestal.

Tonight I just received a text from my sister who I haven't spoken to since the argument about me dating him back in march. She text and said " wow D is a freak . He's just started abusing me. I think hes on drugs. You have to stay away from him"

It has scared me. I replied " I'm not in contact with him, haven't been for 10 weeks. Do not respond to him at all"

I don't want to tell her anything about BPD and what hell I've been through, but I'm so alarmed he is abusing my family out of the blue. I just thought he'd go away now. Maybe he is on drugs tonight, he doesn't have anyone to talk to and is clearly disregulated.

I'm really feeling scared about him, and what he's capable of doing.

I'm tipping from what I've learned on here, that without the distraction of the replacement, he's probably now in a world of pain and shame for how he treated me, and is feeling bad that sister has cut me out of her life, so in his state he's abusing her, thinking he's sticking up for me... . I'm a bit at a loss... . Anyone ?

[Narellan]

I'm in panic mode again. All has been quiet for 10 weeks, while he was happily trying to seduce my best friend behind my back. I noticed yesterday he has now deleted her from FB so I was kinda feeling smug... . She's was off the pedestal.

Tonight I just received a text from my sister who I haven't spoken to since the argument about me dating him back in march. She text and said " wow D is a freak . He's just started abusing me. I think hes on drugs. You have to stay away from him"

It has scared me. I replied " I'm not in contact with him, haven't been for 10 weeks. Do not respond to him at all"

I don't want to tell her anything about BPD and what hell I've been through, but I'm so alarmed he is abusing my family out of the blue. I just thought he'd go away now. Maybe he is on drugs tonight, he doesn't have anyone to talk to and is clearly disregulated.

I'm really feeling scared about him, and what he's capable of doing.

I'm tipping from what I've learned on here, that without the distraction of the replacement, he's probably now in a world of pain and shame for how he treated me, and is feeling bad that sister has cut me out of her life, so in his state he's abusing her, thinking he's sticking up for me... . I'm a bit at a loss... . Anyone ?

[Dog biscuit]

He Narrelan,

Your story has a lot of similarities with what I experienced. He is clearly a trainwreck now, you know you have to stay out of it and let him follow his own self destructive course. Maybe he is trying to get your attention, if you respond or give in he will most likely highten the drama a bit further then he is allready doing.

Breath in and breath out, watch a movie, read a book, distract yourself with anything you can find, and let the panic subside.

Hugs!

[Dolly rocker]

Spot on, guys!

Once the replacements gone they become even more obsessed with us.

I've been NC since feb although he has made few attempts to get in touch every month since that. However he started calling me and texting me like crazy lately. So I check his fb page and sure enough he's deleted the replacement.

Now he's trying to get back to me at all costs. Keeps msgng saying he misses me, dreams of me, that he was stupid before but now he's mature, that he only found true love with me, and that he needs to see me, etc... .

Best thing you can do is to ignore him. But keep your eyes wide open!

Hug-2

[broken3]

Ummm. No offense. But the "abuse" word is a very liberal term and should not be thrown around.

All too often it is used where no actual abuse exists.

People have had their lives destroyed by that single word. So it's a sore spot with many here including myself.

Merely your sister saying he's abusing me. Is taking things waaaay out of context. Unless they actually met and some type of abuse actually existed.

Sorry. But I had to put that out there as I have been accused of "abuse" because of an argument for numerous reasons. Never dropped a curse word, never raised my hands, and never spoke in a condescending way.

[AwakenedOne]

He Narrelan,

Your story has a lot of similarities with what I experienced. He is clearly a trainwreck now, you know you have to stay out of it and let him follow his own self destructive course. Maybe he is trying to get your attention, if you respond or give in he will most likely highten the drama a bit further then he is allready doing.

Breath in and breath out, watch a movie, read a book, distract yourself with anything you can find, and let the panic subside.

Hugs!

Narellen,

Dog Biscuits post I think is good advice. If you ever see him unexpectedly though I'd stay calm, not talk at all or talk like a boring robot and have somewhere you have to go to as an excuse to get away from him with no "talk to you soon" comment. 

Peace,

AO

[Narellan]

Thanks guys for the replies... I followed dog biscuits advice, had a wine, breathed and sat and watched Dexter ( my boys and I are watching the whole series. Prob a bad choice, some of its very triggering).

Broken 3 yeah thanks. My sister can be a drama queen so she may be overacting. My alarm was not to do with the " abusing her", more that he contacted her at all to pick a fight.

Thanks AO. I will do exactly that. I have played it out so much in my head. I know he'll come around soon I can feel it. Im highly on edge. That's why I'm startling easily. Its my own body that's going to betray me though when he comes. Because I am scared, anything can happen. It's hard to be boring and robot like when your hearts besting out of your chest and you're about to vomit.

I think planning for this has been a good exercise, but I've probably blown it all out of proportion now with going over it so much.

[Narellan]

So whatever his motives were ill never know. But I spoke to my sister albeit brief texts and then she said " I love you", so there's a positive out of his actions. So still all quiet today, I'm relaxing again.