pwBPD And Their Text Messaging.

[Depression = 72% of members]

There all human when you really look at the facts.  No, good people don't lie, cheat and manipulate but that is the disorder.  I didn't say "Waste of a good disorder"!  I feel better when I think of the good times not the bad all the time, after all, she gave me insight to my own issues.  A gift from a f'd up good person.

I'm glad you're making something worthy out of this horrible experience.

Being human doesn't equate to being a good person. At least we agree about that. A good person by defnition has integrity, conscience, capacity to geniune care for others, hold moral values, empathic, honest, take self-responsibility. That's the bare minimum. When we speak about personality disorders, it's basicly just a way to address a certain bunch of character traits stemming from early developmental failures. Like we label humans "good" or more precisely "good enough" who managed to worked through the depressive position.

I guess we don't usually say things like "well, she/he was loyal to me, supported me through a hard part of my life" but that was only the "xy label".

[BorisAcusio]

There all human when you really look at the facts.  No, good people don't lie, cheat and manipulate but that is the disorder.  I didn't say "Waste of a good disorder"!  I feel better when I think of the good times not the bad all the time, after all, she gave me insight to my own issues.  A gift from a f'd up good person.

I'm glad you're making something worthy out of this horrible experience.

Being human doesn't equate to being a good person. At least we agree about that. A good person by defnition has integrity, conscience, capacity to geniune care for others, hold moral values, empathic, honest, take self-responsibility. That's the bare minimum. When we speak about personality disorders, it's basicly just a way to address a certain bunch of character traits stemming from early developmental failures. Like we label humans "good" or more precisely "good enough" who managed to worked through the depressive position.

I guess we don't usually say things like "well, she/he was loyal to me, supported me through a hard part of my life" but that was only the "xy label".

[mywifecrazy]

Now I understand why you are constantly running around inside that little box! 

Other reasons I'm inside that box looking for an opening to escape: 

uBPDxw has abandoned kids to me, now I'm a single Dad working Full time... EXHAUSTING!

     "      Is now shacking up across the street with neighbor... Talk about Fu**ing up kids minds

     "      Has disowned her Mom and siblings. They don't even know where she lives. It's now.     

            My responsibility to make sure kids see their Gram, Aunts, Uncles and cousins

     "       Doesn't help at all financially with kids. She never goes to any of their sports or

             School activities unless she has to take them.

but I'm trying to keep my cool

[Infared]

MWIC

YourWifeIsCrazy!

Every time I see your box I laugh! The situation is NOT humorous... . but humor helps.

I worked REALLY hard to get out of that box (mostly!  )... .

I really feel for ya! Truly.

Is there any possibility that you could move?

[Narellan]

My exBPD was a terrible speller also and I thought dyslexic. So bad that he usually only called me, never text. Had a stupid phone and texting was too hard . When he messaged me on FB the spelling was so atrocious I hated it.

This seems to be another trait ? Going by what I see on here?

[BacknthSaddle]

This constant texting/communication thing is my ex to a T. What do you think this behaviour seeks to fulfil? A need for constant attention? Validation? Love?

It actually started my relationship. She started FB messaging me one day, a friend of a friend I had met a couple of times in passing. I did wonder why she would take an interest in me but when a sweet and nice person is befriending you it's not exactly logical to push them away.

Mine started in a similar way.

I think that text is a very quick and efficient way to establish or confirm the presence of an attachment.  Think about the lack of object constancy that characterized BPD.  When the object is not present, there is no quicker and easier way to prove that it is not gone forever than a text message. 

[Red Sky]

My ex quite frequently slammed her hand down on the keyboard and sent me messages of totally random characters when she couldn't deal with her feelings. It was... . Unusual.

The misspelling only started when she drunk texted though. If I hadn't been worried about the state she was in when I started getting drunk texts, I would have found them truly hilarious.

Also BacknthSaddle... . Exactly that. I had to be available 24/7 or near enough. When my phone battery died one day, she had a panic attack that I hated her forever and had left.

[BorisAcusio]

This constant texting/communication thing is my ex to a T. What do you think this behaviour seeks to fulfil? A need for constant attention? Validation? Love?

It actually started my relationship. She started FB messaging me one day, a friend of a friend I had met a couple of times in passing. I did wonder why she would take an interest in me but when a sweet and nice person is befriending you it's not exactly logical to push them away.

Mine started in a similar way.

I think that text is a very quick and efficient way to establish or confirm the presence of an attachment.  Think about the lack of object constancy that characterized BPD.  When the object is not present, there is no quicker and easier way to prove that it is not gone forever than a text message.  

Spot on.

Exactly that. I had to be available 24/7 or near enough. When my phone battery died one day, she had a panic attack that I hated her forever and had left.

Mine got angry and distanced herself if I didn't respond INSTANTLY. In this case, she nexted me and got the soothing from someone else available. 

[mywifecrazy]

MWIC

YourWifeIsCrazy!

Every time I see your box I laugh! The situation is NOT humorous... . but humor helps.

I worked REALLY hard to get out of that box (mostly!  )... .

I really feel for ya! Truly.

Is there any possibility that you could move?

Yes she IS crazy. I have to change my name to myXwifeiscrazy  Sometimes you DO just have to laugh! Keeps me sane.

I'm keeping the moving option open. I had to refinance last year to give X her 30 pieces of silver (Blood Money) in divorce settlement. I made out though as she was so impulsive to get out and live fancy free as the love struck teenager with my neighbor that she left me keep just about everything... . must be the Waif in her!  I'm waiting to see if she OFFICIALLY moves in across the street. She hasn't yet, I'm wondering what's keeping her from doing so. Part of me says F**k her I'm not going anywhere! But I would like to wake up one morning and not feel anxiety when I look across the street. In the mean time I'm fixing up my place in case I do need to sell.

Thanks for asking Infared, it helps to talk about it.

[Infared]

Interesting... . my ex... . (live in 5 years)... . I did everything... did all the decorating... . EVERYTHING... . I cooked, I did the laundry... . she would clean. That's it.

When she moved out... . (I did not know her pants were on fire)... . she left EVERYTHING.  Even gifts I had given her (that hurt... but of course, when you have no identity, it is hard for someone to find a special gift for you, because there is no you, and then you say you like it... . when you hate it... . but no one knows but you... . then you build up a resentment... . but no one knows but you... . on and on... and on... . )

The ONLY thing she took... . was the Sony Play Station... . this confirms her age. Ten-years-old I guess.  I will never know.  

Then ... . she left a TON of stuff in the attic... . which I made her come back and get... . (so self centered.)... I am not cleaning up your mess when I have to move! ... . so she takes all of the boxes and puts them on the curb. ALL OF THEM. Never even opens any of them. ( I was not there)... . all kinds of new pots and pans her Mom gave her, etc... . etc... . Like ... . OK... . I am throwing that entire life away (AGAIN!) and now I have my new life. The kicker is for me... (yeah baby... just keep kicking me)... . our town decided no bulk pick-up day for the entire winter... . and since she decided to run out a week before Christmas... . (it wasn't that bad, she got me a really personal gift certificate :-() ... . wonder what she got the new guy?) I had to look at all her crap... semi-picked thru by whomever... . on the curb in front of our house ALL WINTER! The boxes slowly melting from the snow and rain. I refused to move it.  I was soo depressed...

I just left it there... . What a horrible reminder ... . Thank GOD that is over with. Who does this stuff to people?