She filed a RO and divorce after only 6 months of marrage.

[peiper]

When we go to court do you think I should bring up that she was hospitalized for a mental breakdown that I didnt learn about until after we were married. Seems like mud slinging to me

[Turkish]

Thank you, I just cant get this thing out of my mind. It makes no sense, but after reading on here its starting to. But so far the information only makes me sad and the hurt is still in my gut.

peiper, it is like a kick in the gut. Even months after she left (since this Feb), it took me a long time to focus past her anger and depression to realize that love, too, is an emotion. She couldn't control or regulate the other emotions, and she also couldn't control or regulate her love. It's an attachment disorder, a disorder of attachment. The security of a r/s we may take for granted with some or even a lot of effort doesn't exist in their worlds. We nons become triggers for their core shame. It has little to do with us, really, which is why we can't assume that we can fix it.

[peiper]

She actually came home from work "flight attendant" with a list of things I needed to do do have her stay. Around twenty or so things. I kinda thought about it, but blew it off. Ive felt for months like a hostage.

[livednlearned]

When we go to court do you think I should bring up that she was hospitalized for a mental breakdown that I didnt learn about until after we were married. Seems like mud slinging to me

When you go to court? Do you mean for divorce? Or for the RO?

It will really help if you talk to a lawyer. Just talk. Ask questions. Find out how things work where you live.

If you divorce and there are no kids, and you've been married for less than a year, there's a really good chance you won't end up in court. And if you did, your lawyer would do most of the talking. When there are no kids involved, and you don't have a lifetime of equity to dissolve, it's not that complicated. BPD sufferers tend to make things more complicated than they need to be, but all things being equal, your case isn't complex.

It could get complex if she escalates and makes more false allegations.

[Turkish]

She actually came home from work "flight attendant" with a list of things I needed to do do have her stay. Around twenty or so things. I kinda thought about it, but blew it off. Ive felt for months like a hostage.

This was in the past before the RO?

Mine came up to me back in May and the conversation basically went, "I'm unhappy. You need to do something about it. Doing A-Z might fix it, but I'm only going to tell you A, you need to figure out the rest. Oh, and we're going to start leaving the kids (S3 and D1) at my mom's while we go figure it out.

No.

[peiper]

It was before, I asked her about it and she said that she thought it would wake me up.

[peiper]

I could tell by the way she turned off text message wise that when she got home things were going to be on the dark side.

[ForeverDad]

When we go to court do you think I should bring up that she was hospitalized for a mental breakdown that I didn't learn about until after we were married. Seems like mud slinging to me.

Maybe a little, but presented properly it's shining light on all the facts.  Even if it was over 6 months ago (a common time span for incidents to be viewed as 'stale' and not actionable) it can be viewed as history.  It doesn't mean the court will ignore it, but I do think that more information than "hospitalized for a mental breakdown" would be needed to sway a judge. Any other incidents you can prove in your favor?

[catnap]

She also said that I beat my head on the wall and said ok when the police get here I can show them you hit me. When the police did show up she said my head was cut and there was blood on the wall. So I asked them in, the lady cop walked out saying no blood anywhere. I had a skull fracture a few years ago that left me paralized in  diapers for three months, no way am I banging my head on anything. I get scared when I get on the roof now.

Call or go by the police station and ask for an incident report.  It may cost you a few bucks to get a copy.  It shows she lied to the responding officer.