Hello Lightan,
I just wanted to say hello and WELCOME to the Parenting board!
Please feel free to share and post anytime - we are here for you.
You have started the conversation, that's a good start. Keeping it positive and loving will help.
You talk about the consequences getting more and more serious... .
Have you tried having her earn privileges and keeping them as soon as she can cooperate or act responsible? What I am talking about is turning the whole thing around into a positive outlook - starting small and giving her a chance to succeed little by little?
Can you tell us more about that if you feel like exploring this?