Losing my mind no once to talk to

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

Me and my ex where together on and off for 4 years last i posted we where broken up i broke NC and emailed her and it was a whirlwind again she left me for a Marine she met online feeling inadequate i joined the army before i left for basic training we got back together i proposed and i left 4 months i was gone when i came back she spent all my money from basic and changed her number.

When we say each other she told me she moved on and her heart was some where else broke my heart i was leaving for my first duty station. I emailed her telling her i missed her. a month of me being in Kentucky i'm originally form NY she emailed me back asking to be with me i took out loans and paid for a house and plane tickets  she came here with her three kids first we were good a couple of hickups but good then i got a call from her brothers best friend telling me he was with her during the time i was gone how he loved her and she left because she couldn't mover her and her kids into his home i was angry and used we argued she finally confessed and we tried to move on.

during our time together she wanted to have a baby we tried and she got pregnant then things went bad she was super moody and i knew it was hormones i bent over hand and foot trying to make her happy but nothing i did worked now me being i in the army my training takes first place and it was hard for her to understand i had no choice to do what im told shed go crazy if i went to the field for weeks or if i didn't text or call her during my breaks but i was always home never went out with friends i always was devoted home the arguments got bad she thought i was cheating took my computer and when i was screaming to get it back she throw my laptop threw her phone at me

christmas of 2013 we had it out because she felt i didnt want to talk to her but it was hard because she would tell me nasty things and i was frozen to say a thing to her i was afraid to say something worng

long story short she left went back to new york is living with the man she cheated on me with she has a new job a new life she seems really happy on facebook and i think she had an abortion for the baby she wanted i want a baby with her but we where a new army couple i wanted to wait a little and see how much we can afford and how this Army life would be im leaving next year on a long vacation i cant really say  for but im just hurt mad angry and scared she is gone forever she definitely painted me black im going to serve my country and she wins happy in a loving relationship and im picking up the pieces again

owe and once out of anger i told her i didnt love her she ran into the bathroom and cut her arm a big gash with blood everywhere she told me if i couldnt love her there was no point i dressed her wound and told her i was sorry and i loved her but she never forgot that i said it

[freshlySane]

Me and my ex where together on and off for 4 years last i posted we where broken up i broke NC and emailed her and it was a whirlwind again she left me for a Marine she met online feeling inadequate i joined the army before i left for basic training we got back together i proposed and i left 4 months i was gone when i came back she spent all my money from basic and changed her number.

When we say each other she told me she moved on and her heart was some where else broke my heart i was leaving for my first duty station. I emailed her telling her i missed her. a month of me being in Kentucky i'm originally form NY she emailed me back asking to be with me i took out loans and paid for a house and plane tickets  she came here with her three kids first we were good a couple of hickups but good then i got a call from her brothers best friend telling me he was with her during the time i was gone how he loved her and she left because she couldn't mover her and her kids into his home i was angry and used we argued she finally confessed and we tried to move on.

during our time together she wanted to have a baby we tried and she got pregnant then things went bad she was super moody and i knew it was hormones i bent over hand and foot trying to make her happy but nothing i did worked now me being i in the army my training takes first place and it was hard for her to understand i had no choice to do what im told shed go crazy if i went to the field for weeks or if i didn't text or call her during my breaks but i was always home never went out with friends i always was devoted home the arguments got bad she thought i was cheating took my computer and when i was screaming to get it back she throw my laptop threw her phone at me

christmas of 2013 we had it out because she felt i didnt want to talk to her but it was hard because she would tell me nasty things and i was frozen to say a thing to her i was afraid to say something worng

long story short she left went back to new york is living with the man she cheated on me with she has a new job a new life she seems really happy on facebook and i think she had an abortion for the baby she wanted i want a baby with her but we where a new army couple i wanted to wait a little and see how much we can afford and how this Army life would be im leaving next year on a long vacation i cant really say  for but im just hurt mad angry and scared she is gone forever she definitely painted me black im going to serve my country and she wins happy in a loving relationship and im picking up the pieces again

owe and once out of anger i told her i didnt love her she ran into the bathroom and cut her arm a big gash with blood everywhere she told me if i couldnt love her there was no point i dressed her wound and told her i was sorry and i loved her but she never forgot that i said it

[blindjoe]

Gnarly. Don't take this the wrong way: I'd be happy if I were you that I didn't have 3 kids to raise. Now you're free to pursue your career in the army and meet a chick who can respect you. I'm going through a recent break up so can't offer much in the way of advice, but I'm sure other members here can provide some words of encouragement.

[AwakenedOne]

FS,

You are obviously a good caring guy who put his heart and soul into making the relationship work. Maybe in life things happen for a reason though and this relationship is just not meant to be.

My kind advice to you is if she contacts you again and wants to get back together, at the very least think twice or even three or four times about marrying her or having kids at this point. If I read this correctly she has aborted your baby? I know you care about her but there are plenty of healthy women out there for you also. I hope things in your life work out where you have peace and find a woman that will love you without giving you all the stress. Good luck.

AO

[AimingforMastery]

RUN!

She sounds very unwell and no sign of improvement.

Go get a great life for YOU, for YOUR SELF.

A few basic rules:-

- honesty

- no cheating

- respect

- consideration

- no recycling

If someone cant do those... .  RUN.

Be very polite about it, but RUN.

[freshlySane]

Thank you for your Advice i felt so lonely and overwhelmed by this all how come she can be so happy and me so miserable?

[Changingman]

'Nothing makes us as vulnerable as loneliness except greed'

Fresh,

God I could feel the hurt in that last post. You sound like a good man, you sound like you have your whole world in front of you.

It will be glorious, you will meet someone honest and true, you will have children and then you will moan that you don't get enough sleep because your son is jumping on your bed at 5 in the morning.

You will agonise about Which school you can get him in, hope he has good friends, teach him to catch, teach him to laugh, hope he gets good grades... .

... .and pray that when he grows up he doesn't fall for someone who enjoys hurting him. If he does you will be there for him and save him from the hell he has been put in. You will feed him regularly, take him for walks, and let him talk, if he has nightmares you know and will tell him they will pass.

That this happens sometimes in life but it will be alright if he shows himself some love and care.

Changingman

[freshlySane]

thank you for that she use to feel that i made her feel pain i was angry of her cheating on me and i needed time to heal but she couldnt understand that she become need and i was distant because i couldnt believe her love was real as much as i wanted to beleive it i couldnt feel it was real and now she is with mister wonderful

[Changingman]

thank you for that she use to feel that i made her feel pain i was angry of her cheating on me and i needed time to heal but she couldnt understand that she become need and i was distant because i couldnt believe her love was real as much as i wanted to beleive it i couldnt feel it was real and now she is with mister wonderful

She is the same person as she was with you. She is putting the next guy through the same as you. She does not own you or your happiness. Read about this condition more, it is a trap, the pain she felt was hers. BPD is a dark hole of pain, deep emotional wounds. You did not cause this. She is hurting others because she is broken inside. You cannot help her, the next victim cannot help her. Her crazy making behaviours affects your mental health. Get help.

[AimingforMastery]

thank you for that she use to feel that i made her feel pain i was angry of her cheating on me and i needed time to heal but she couldnt understand that she become need and i was distant because i couldnt believe her love was real as much as i wanted to beleive it i couldnt feel it was real and now she is with mister wonderful

Trust me on this, she is NOT with Mister Wonderful. That is a just another lie of theirs. They can't cope with the pain of abandonment so they have the next guy lined up normally well in advance - and that has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.

They are like drug addicts. Their drug is strokes from whoever is in front of them to fill the desperate hole in the middle.

She is very ill.

RUN

[freshlySane]

You are most likely right she left him initially because she couldn't move her and her kids into his home. So she came to me when we were arguing and it got bad she moved back to NY to be with him. I remember her cutting her arm because she said if i didn't love her everything didn't matter.

Then it was silent treatment and awkward moments but she'd get mad because i never text-ed her on my lunch break or call her but i lived in a house with 4 people went to work and i am around nothing but guys all day i never had time to myself and i used my breaks to just relax but when i was so called distant it was the end of the world when she was i was supposed to accept it because of all i put her through.

[freshlySane]

She even post on facebook about me Some people u hope got sent to war and died but then u realized santana doesn't exist again — feeling crazy. all because i apologized for my faults in the relationship