Being Painted White... Yeah for Good Days

[wilsonian]

I just wanted to mention that we all read allot of the negative and bad days and times on here(myself included)... .just wanted to share a good few days even with triggers coming left and right at my dBPDw... .she has been having issues with her sons and her sons girlfriend telling her how much she hates her and not letting her see the grand-baby(this 20 yr old gives a new definition to narcissistic)... but through it all have had a nice few days with each other... family from out of state and she even caught herself snapping at me couple of times and apologized... don't get me wrong I have had to be validating allot and having a big shoulder and ear for her but you know what... .I am her husband and if she didn't have BPD I would still be doing the same thing... .just wanted to share some good times and news with you all on here instead of me being worried or whats next to come when the shoe drops... .its like a few weeks ago the question would you be with your BPD partner if you knew... .I still each day stay with a big YES... .I love her what can I say... .

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[123Phoebe]

So happy to hear this wilsonian

I posted a good news story too, yay!  They can and do apologize   A lot has to do with how we interact with them  

When we keep our love and understanding for them in the forefront, along with our own personal values, we bypass a lot of our own negative spinny thoughts that only add fuel to the fire.

Thank you so much for sharing

[an0ught]

Hi wilsonian,

thanks for sharing. And enjoy it while it lasts.

Keep in mind (occasionally - when not bathed in bliss  ) that these good times are also a good time to practice validation (much more pleasant to do) and boundaries (often boiling down to simply being clear about my stuff - your stuff).

Some positive dysregulation may be fun but like with drinks there can be a hangover too. Moderation matters whether you are black or white.

[wilsonian]

know what you mean anOught... already painted black ... caught her on Facebook talking to some of her Xs quite a few time in past months... I ran across it by accident... told her I wasn't mad or anything just didn't understand... .she immediately blamed me for saying anything to her and seeing them in the first place... then today same thing Im a spy its my own fault I am hurting about it and now have some trust issues etc etc... sometimes just wanna beat my head against the wall... .