Holy Crap I think it's PTSD.

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Ok, so admittedly I'm a bit slow, but I just realized that what I've been experiencing since the breakup isn't just depression or feeling sad. According to this definition from the Mayo Clinic,www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/basics/symptoms/CON-20022540 i think it may be likely a full blown case of PTSD. That might explain why I feel like I'm not getting a lot of results from Therapy. Sure, I'm depressed, but I think depression is merely co-morbid and I'm not treating the underlying condition.

My question for those in therapy: Are any of you approaching your treatment from the perspective of PTSD? If so, what techniques or treatment methods does your T recommend? CBT? Emotional memory management? Are meds helpful?

Thanks!

[Regular_Joe]

Ok, so admittedly I'm a bit slow, but I just realized that what I've been experiencing since the breakup isn't just depression or feeling sad. According to this definition from the Mayo Clinic,www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/basics/symptoms/CON-20022540 i think it may be likely a full blown case of PTSD. That might explain why I feel like I'm not getting a lot of results from Therapy. Sure, I'm depressed, but I think depression is merely co-morbid and I'm not treating the underlying condition.

My question for those in therapy: Are any of you approaching your treatment from the perspective of PTSD? If so, what techniques or treatment methods does your T recommend? CBT? Emotional memory management? Are meds helpful?

Thanks!

[Aussie JJ]

First off all, don't self diagnose.  If we believed our own diagnosis half of us here when we were at the lowest of lows would have BPD. 

Talk to your T/P.  Go through everything and ask the question.  You likely wont be told you have PTSD straight away however let them help you understand the problem. 

Having that understanding will help you tackle the problem.  The T/P's know the tools and will help guide you best mate. 

For me, I still question on some days if I have BPD.  Go figure right. 

[Blimblam]

Joe,

Describe your experiences.  I was having severe anxiety attack constantly. I still have pretty heavy bouts of anxiety but not nearly on the level it was.  I suggest reading some of lettinggo14 posts he describes some good methods for processing the anxiety. 

A therapist recommended to me  leaning back sining a song in my head and drumming with my hands.  As a way to help thwart an oncoming anxiety attack. 

The anxiety is like a message from your body learn to listen to it don't fight it.

[BuildingFromScratch]

Yeah I'm pretty sure I had Complex-PTSD for 12 yrs, along with severe disassociation and depersonalization. Sometimes my eyes glaze over and I'm stuck in a brain dead state. I guess that's how I survived the relationship. Everything has gotten better but I still suffer pretty severe depression and anxiety, much more than I had before I met her. I guess losing like 10 friends and being alone can do that.

Complex PTSD causes disassociation, but also has stockholm syndrome components and other things. Normally it's for people who have really abusive parents. And BPD is actually a severe and more permanent form of it. Ever feel like you've been infected with the BPD cooties? It essentially is contagious.

[Mutt]

I start to feel dread and anxiety about an hour before I have to get the kids. It's like a flight or flee response. I have to get out as quickly as possible when I'm at her place. I start to shake in the knees. I can't be around my wife since she left. I absolutely dread it. Luckily it's only once a week at exchanges. I don't get nightmares or other symptoms. It goes away about a half an hour after exchanges. I haven't gone to the doctor for it because it's not at any other times.

It's like I fear being around her. It's so different than when I was in her FOG but I dissociated a lot because of all of the difficult things going on in the house.

[Aussie JJ]

My issues are much the same Mutt, I tell myself I can always walk away.  I repeat it so many times in my head.  It is a pathetic mantra but a one liner I give to myself that I can remember easily, repeat easily and follow easily. 

Every time I try to confront some of the really painful memories as well and understand / process them it hits instantly, not building up but just turned on instantly, shaking hands, sweating, heart racing.  This is the worst because I cant pre-empt it or control it when it happens, it just does.  It takes me hours and when I push myself on some things a day or so to calm down. 

Don't get me wrong I wont walk away from my son, some pick ups though I can tell she is on a high, she has just had her supply met by her father or her new BF and is all happy and giddy, I can see it so easily.  I know what's going on and it destroys me.  What do I do, I walk away.  Gives me the power back. 

This is the only strategy that I have that works constantly at the moment because it is so simple. 

[Mutt]

Don't get me wrong I wont walk away from my son, some pick ups though I can tell she is on a high, she has just had her supply met by her father or her new BF and is all happy and giddy, I can see it so easily.  I know what's going on and it destroys me.  What do I do, I walk away.  Gives me the power back.

I identify with this Aussie JJ. I'm out of her FOG and I see her dysfunctions and the way she treats me in emails and in court. I see her beaming and happy - but I know it's not her true persona. It's fake and takes a lot of work for her to keep it together. It makes me feel invalidated.

I'll recall memories of her true self and it gets me grounded again and the anxiety dissipates. On occasion I will log on bpdfamily and read posts and memories are triggered of how she truly is. It reminds me that she's not happy - it's a facade. I agree we have power over ourselves - not something that ex has until she fixes her trauma.