My daughter was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder

[sueusa]

Hello,

My daughter got diagnosed with borderline personality disorder by a US Navy doctor in bootcamp. She was sent home and is denying anything is wrong with her. I love her so much and I only want to help her. I also wonder if I have indirect something to do with her condition. I myself have a checkered history. Anyways that is it in a nutshell. How can I make her see a psychiatrist. She is 21 years old. I apologize for any spelling mistakes.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Ziggiddy]

Hi Suesa I am very sorry to hear of your distress. It is a hard thing when a family member gets a BPD diagnosis and it is understandable that you want to know as aparent what if anything it has to do with you - genetics or environment, family life etc.

It would be worth you educating yourself about the disorder to help you learn some techniques to deal with it.

Of course you love your daughter and want to help her, but as far as seeing a psychiatrist if she is an adult it is really up to her to decide that.

When you say you have a checkered history, would you feel comfortable to expand on that a bit? it would really help in order to direct you to the best resources for your persoanl situation.

in the meantime  - you have come to a great place with wonderful people to support you - many of whom will understand your situation and give you support and education.

And you may wish to review this  video to give yourself some background information

What is BPD (48 minute video)


You may wish to tell more of your story to us. I would encourage you to do that on the parenting board - here is the link:

Parenting a son or daughter suffering from BPD board

Welcome aboard,

Ziggiddy

[lever.]

Hello sueusa

I hope that you will follow the link and join us on the parent's board.

As Ziggiddy has said your daughter is 21 now so you you can't force her to see a psychiatrist but there are ways of encouraging her to seek help.

Many of us parents have also questioned whether we have any role in having caused the disorder and there is a very balanced article on the parent's board ":)id I cause this" which is helpful.

What is even more helpful is that there is information about how to support a young person with BPD and communicate with them in a way that will make life easier for both of you.

Please go to the parents board and look at the lessons at the top of the page (which include the one on encouraging someone to seek help) and the "tools" on the right hand side of the page.

I have found a lot of support on the parent's board and I will look out for you there.

[sueusa]

Hello ziggiddy,

Thank you for replying to my mail. I am from Germany and my mother has severe schizophrenia, and my father, god knows what he has besides being a violent alcoholic and being a real ass. I left that house of horrors when I was 18. Left the village, the state and the country. I know that I have post traumatic stress disorder but I am dealing with it. Now I just would like to help my daughter. The thing is that she does not talk much to me and she does not share much of her life with me. That hurts, but as long as she is happy I am ok with it. I only wish her happiness.

[pessim-optimist]

Hello sueusa,

I want to join others in welcoming you to this website.

You have overcome a very difficult childhood!

I understand that you wonder if/what you may have done to contribute to your daughter's condition. That's often the first question a parent asks... .The fact is, in most cases it is a combination of their genetic predisposition and us not knowing how to handle this special child.

At least now that your daughter has been diagnosed w/BPD, you will be able to make some sense of what that means and how to best support her. There are many people w/BPD who do deny that there is anything wrong. This is a very good video (a long one in two parts) that talks about what we can do to help our mentally ill family member seek help:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdVj8gXsETs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppculi-Os2g

Welcome again, and when you feel up to it, feel free to check out the links in the right panel ---->

they have lots of good information on many topics a parent needs to know.

We'll be happy to support you on your journey of supporting your daughter. Ask any questions you might have, and we will do our best to answer them, ok?

How are you doing yourself? Do you have supportive family members that you can share this with?

[Ziggiddy]

Hi again sueusa,

Thank you for explaining more about your situation. I agree with pessimism-optimism - it must have been quite a childhood that led you to wanting to remove yourself far away form it.

I am very sorry for you to have to go through it. i have had 2 friends with schizophrenia and it is frightening at it's best - absolutely incomprehensible at it's worst. I can't imagine what it must have been like as a child growing up with a schizophrenic parent.

No wonder you ended up with PTSD. When you say you are dealing with it, are you comfortable with how that is coming along? Are you in therapy at all or do you have some other coping strategy? It can be a difficult and painful process as well as an extended one. I feel for your pain there as I am really only starting to address the effects of an abusive childhood myself.

Pessimism-optimism asks some good questions: we are concerned for you and hope to be able to help you any way we can.

Please keep us posted

Ziggiddy