The List

[Artimer]

Hi folks. Well I thought I would see what the "friendship" she wanted entailed. Just in case I was completely wrong about her being BPD/NPD. Needless to say I was not wrong and should have let it all go after the advice from on here.

Long story short, she "forgot" about agreed dates where she had set the date to see me in order for me to help her with something or another. I paid very close attention to her actions and words, and it was as clear as daylight that she does indeed suffer a serious disorder. At least I didn't get hurt by her actions, but tonight I wrote a list of all the negatives.

It is worth writing a list of the bad experiences you've had with your exBPD as it serves as a strong reference and will keep you on the road to recovery.

I am now full blown NC.

[freedom33]

Yeah man. Keep a list. It helps. I used to keep one too that helped to remind me that I am not crazy for feeling the way I am feeling and also in the no contact period. All the best with your effort

[Pieter2]

Absolutely - I have a list of all the fights I can remember. We were together for about 180 days of which I probably saw her about 160 days. I have already listed 64 fights... .Makes it soo easy to remember why I left.

[Infern0]

I tried the "friendship" for about a week during which she openly admitted that she wanted to hang out because "everyone else was busy"

That was enough for me,  outskis

[Pingo]

I am the queen of the lists!  I make lists when I'm journaling or when something pops in my mind while reading... .these are my various lists:

List of vacations he's ruined

List of silent treatment episodes

List of despicable behaviours/incidences

List of red flags

List of ways he invaded my privacy

List of things I gave up to accommodate/avoid

Lately my lists have become more self-focused:

List of my positive attributes

List of my values

I refer to these lists often, it has been very therapeutic for me and keeps me in reality when my mind wants to drift off in the fantasy or when I start feeling nostalgic and miss him or question my decision to end the marriage.