What do I do about the suicide threats?

[hope61]

I am just so tired of the suicide threats.  My 27 year old son has made so many threats over the past 3 years that I don't know if he's crying wolf or if I should really believe that this time is the time he will actually take action.  I'm so angry that he gives me ultimatums--if I don't do this or that, he will definitely kill himself.  How can I live with myself if he truly does kill himself?  I will always think that maybe, if I had just done that one thing, he would be alive.  I'm just so sad and angry, and I feel like I have no options for help for either one of us!  I feel like he is taking me down with him.  Can someone please tell me what to do?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lever.]

In the past my daughter made several suicide attempts and talked about suicide. What helped in our case was to always take it seriously and to involve the emergency services.

I also didn't rush to visit the hospital the next day or make a big drama of it (although it was alarmingly scary).

If she just told me she was unhappy and felt like killing herself I was as helpful as I could be and spent a lot of time listening and problem solving-but if I thought it was manipulation I was cooler.

I am posting a link about dealing with threats of suicide-I hope you find it helpfulTOOLS: Dealing with threats of Suicide and Suicide Attempts

[SeaSprite]

hope... .I'm so sorry you are dealing with this with your son.

I agree with lever, call a crisis line or 911 if he seems to be in danger. Try to listen when you can.

My d and I used to have a system, 1-10, where 1 was about ready to kill myself and 10 was the best day ever, and 5 was just normal. I'd ask how are you 1-10, and she would give me a number. If she was lower than 4, we'd start making a safety plan. This only works if they are willing to cooperate, but somehow the number scale was helpful.

[Rapt Reader]

You've gotten some good advice from lever and SeaSprite, and I would just like to add some links that could also help:

Emergency - Local Live Support Centers

TOOLS: Dealing with threats of Suicide and Suicide Attempts

Depression and Suicidal Ideation

I've also had to deal with my BPD son (age 36 at the time) during a Suicidal Ideation (and a few more times prior to that age, also), and it's a parent's nightmare... .I'm so sorry this is happening in your family, hope61 

[HealingSpirit]

This is such a scary situation! My DD17 used to pull the suicide card all the time when she was in her early teens, so I know how manipulated you feel, and that fear that if you don't give them what they want, they'll do it.  I used to call my DD's bluff a lot. I'd have the phone in my hand, ready to dial 911. That was usually enough to stop her threats.

The others have given you good advice I wish I'd had back in those days. I just wanted you to know I hear and feel your struggle and pain over this.