2nd Split

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I just got ignored for a day after I guess I put too much out there about wanting to have a relationship. She was very close professing her feelings of love and appreciation and then the very next day ignoring me on the phone, not returning calls and I think was with another guy. She called me today and I was angry and hung up on her but called her back later and told her everything I thought had happened matter of factly but was hung over and she acted like she didn't want to talk to me. We did had a conversation that was more amicable and she said to call her back the next day. She just wants to laugh and have a good time she says. Same here but if i try to get clingy she withdraws. So I assume or hope she will call me back soon. How should I go about avoiding these daily splitting episodes or can I. I just want her to like me and spend time with me and am not looking to marry the girl or anything. We had a two week split over another fling she had before and got back together and things almost seemed decent but if I dont finesse it it seems I am driving her away. How should I act. They don't want you talking about how you feel or what you think, it's all has to be about them. I am wanting to just make love to the girl and have a good time with her as well. How do i act to accomplish this without driving her away.

[screwedfriend]

I just got ignored for a day after I guess I put too much out there about wanting to have a relationship. She was very close professing her feelings of love and appreciation and then the very next day ignoring me on the phone, not returning calls and I think was with another guy. She called me today and I was angry and hung up on her but called her back later and told her everything I thought had happened matter of factly but was hung over and she acted like she didn't want to talk to me. We did had a conversation that was more amicable and she said to call her back the next day. She just wants to laugh and have a good time she says. Same here but if i try to get clingy she withdraws. So I assume or hope she will call me back soon. How should I go about avoiding these daily splitting episodes or can I. I just want her to like me and spend time with me and am not looking to marry the girl or anything. We had a two week split over another fling she had before and got back together and things almost seemed decent but if I dont finesse it it seems I am driving her away. How should I act. They don't want you talking about how you feel or what you think, it's all has to be about them. I am wanting to just make love to the girl and have a good time with her as well. How do i act to accomplish this without driving her away.

[pumpkin79]

Your friend sounds like the girl I have had a relationship with.  Everything was great at first, but she withdrew out of the blue and dumped me.  She told me she no longer wanted to talk to me. After several months of no talking, she apologized, and we talked regularly again for about a month.  As soon as we started getting closer again and I verbalized my emotions and was showing loving support to her and asking to see her, she disengaged and started ignoring me.  She again has said she no longer wants to talk to me and won't respond to anything I text her even though I am being kind to her.  It sounds like your friend and my friend are functioning on control.  They want to be able to control the relationship on their terms.  If they don't feel control, then it seems like they push you away or ignore you because they can't handle try intimacy. It drives me nuts to not be able to express my feelings, and to only be ignored when I express my feelings.  It is very painful.  She sounds like my friend... .someone who will take you on a roller coaster ride of pain because they are unhealthy and unable to have a healthy relationship.

[screwedfriend]

I totally agree while at the same time coming up with crisis that requires me spending money to rescue her telling me  oh I dont know how much she appreciates it and then right in front of me hooking up with her ex and ignoring me. It gets less painful though as I think she knows I am ready to totally disengage. We will see how it comes out but either way it is going to be just pain and disappointment to continue I realize. I must accept that I was just played by and expert and find a willing and not crazy partner. I saw a quote I posted on FB that said something to the effect that it is the worst form of cruelty to awaken the love in a person and never intend to truly love them I feel subjected to just such cruelty but I know it is not me and actuall thank her for awakened that yearning for true love in my soul

[screwedfriend]

I find comfort in the blues Kenny Wayne Sheperd and Johnny Lang have quite  a few songs that relate to how I feel about her doing me the way she has. This type of female is no new phenomenon I do not believe