Patterns and reinventing the wheel

[Depression = 72% of members]

My uBPDbf has told me his relationship story. It seems like he seems to always go for these high powered successful strong women who he is mediocrely attracted to. There is usually triangulation, a break up, whatever in a way where the woman is completely heartbroken and can never move on. I Know of at least five of his exes who never remarried/ married or even had a very serious relationship after him.  He is high functioning and very successful, very charming, very generous. Has anyone else noticed this type of pattern?

[Iwilldecide]

My uBPDbf has told me his relationship story. It seems like he seems to always go for these high powered successful strong women who he is mediocrely attracted to. There is usually triangulation, a break up, whatever in a way where the woman is completely heartbroken and can never move on. I Know of at least five of his exes who never remarried/ married or even had a very serious relationship after him.  He is high functioning and very successful, very charming, very generous. Has anyone else noticed this type of pattern?

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RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Iwilldecide]

I read somewhere once that BPD men enjoy finding strong women and breaking them down.

[MissyM]

No, but that sounds a bit more NPD than BPD to me.

[Iwilldecide]

Missy m. Interesting assessment! I've always thought he could be both npd and BPD I will have to do more research. He has certainly been called narcissistic by friends and such maybe more in a joking way but there is obviously truth to it. He has a huge huge fear of abandonment and a very hard time letting people and material things go (things like cars etc) though he is by no means a hoarder just has strong attachments to people and big material things like watches, homes, cars. People mostly.

[MissyM]

My dBPDh has some narcissistic traits but mostly BPD traits, thus the BPD diagnosis.  He is nowhere near charming and hunted after by women, mainly because he is a male hermit (except in business where some of his NPD comes out).