Can someone explain what is happening to me

[Depression = 72% of members]

I thought if I stayed away from this board or didn't respond or post to anything and NC, I would be okay. He has been gone for a while now, since April.  I had low contact but finally he stopped completely. Its been over a month since he called or text. The problem I am having is not that I am missing him, but i feel like I am the one who has all his issues. I am paranoid and can't seem to think clearly.  I suddenly feel like I am carrying all these traits.  When i was with him I was convinced I was so much like him I even saw his doctor  His doctor who deals with BPD and DBTsaid I was not

Borderline  But since he is gone I feel really messed up   Like I have his issues.  I obsess about him want to call and full of fear.  What the heck Is happening ?  My empathy and compassion for others is gone  I am synical over peoples issues. Its like I am him.  HELP ME GET MY COMPASSION BACK. I CAN'T EVEN CRY 













ll the problems.  I   

[drv3006]

I thought if I stayed away from this board or didn't respond or post to anything and NC, I would be okay. He has been gone for a while now, since April.  I had low contact but finally he stopped completely. Its been over a month since he called or text. The problem I am having is not that I am missing him, but i feel like I am the one who has all his issues. I am paranoid and can't seem to think clearly.  I suddenly feel like I am carrying all these traits.  When i was with him I was convinced I was so much like him I even saw his doctor  His doctor who deals with BPD and DBTsaid I was not

Borderline  But since he is gone I feel really messed up   Like I have his issues.  I obsess about him want to call and full of fear.  What the heck Is happening ?  My empathy and compassion for others is gone  I am synical over peoples issues. Its like I am him.  HELP ME GET MY COMPASSION BACK. I CAN'T EVEN CRY 













ll the problems.  I   

[.cup.car]

I can't say I've felt those extremes, but I definitely know how it feels to think YOU are the one with the problem.

It's not in our biological makeup to turn our brains off when dealing with the mentally ill. As humans, we're all under the impression that we're all under one roof and abiding by the same moral code. Our brains simply aren't wired or trained for what happens when the mentally ill don't abide by this moral code and excessively manipulate/lie/cheat/steal with reckless abandon. We can't comprehend it. When it happens, we short circuit. It makes us depressed, angry, confused... .etc... .Much like the state you're in now.

I don't have the answers on how to deal with it. Maybe someone else will.

[Hawk Ridge]

Are you seeing a T?  I started after I just couldn't pull myself out of my deep depression, still am and it is helping.  Being treated for PTSD and working on developing a deeper sense of self and confidence.  What we went through made us question ourselves, stole our confidence, and robbed us of hope.  Therapy is the gift we give back so we can start living again. Just a thought

[SeaShellz]

I dont have an answer for this but I feel the same way. Its only been 2 weeks for me but the first time we broke up (this is the second time) it lasted 3 months and i initiated contact which led to another year together. Was with him 4 years. Those 3 months were filled with obsessing about him and i did not grow or learn at all. This time i feel worse. Just found out he replaced me and him and the new woman are "in love" after a week and a half... .come on. They are both in their mid 20's. I was not okay before finding this out and now that i kno im filled with anxiety, fear, sadness, jealousy, and anger. Im desperately reaching out to my friends, obsessively reading about BPD and just waiting and hoping for something i dont really want :/  

I know he had serious mental issues but there is something wrong with me too. This breakup has been the hardest ever for me. I do feel i have some of his anger and desperation for an attachment with another person right now. Although other men are not attractive to me just yet.

I think i am codependent. I believe thats why i feel this way.

[drv3006]

I was seeing three Ha. My psychiatrist, work EAP and his counselor.  Anyway to share more. I am a recovering alcoholic and have been clean and working with others and working with myself, feeling great for over six years. Well the last two year have been hell since he was in the picture. I have a wonderful support group. But he was so awful with that. And now that he's gone i can't get that serenity and peace i once had. It ticks me off.  Somedays I just hate the day I met him. I USED TO BE SO NICE. HELL I HAD FIVE HOMELESS PEOPLE LIVING WITH ME ONCE. SINCE THIS MAN I, JUST DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYONE. I SWEAR HE SUCKED THE LLIFE RIGHT OUT OF ME 

[drv3006]

Seashellz,. I get it!  And the studying and reading about this illness while they are away seems insane. I am right there with u. Maybe all this studying their problems is what is messing us up. A sponsor told me to quit reading about his issues. That meant I was still trying to fix him. She told me to get a book on boundaries and fix myself. Guess I am codependent too!

[SeaShellz]

What i get out of reading about the disorder is understanding. If i did not understand why he treated me the way he did and could so easily discard me and "love" someone else so quickly, id just think i wasnt good enough. I find comfort in knowing he would have done this to anyone and will continue doing this to people and it wasnt just me. I tried to make things work. I tried to help him but i am not trying to fix him... .he is gone. And i never talked to him much about what ive learned because he would get mad. He was forever mad .