My friends and family are horrified I'm considering this

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I have told some people I'm talking to my (no longer ex) BF and every single one of them thinks I've gone off my rocker.

Everyone liked him when we were dating before, but he was so awful during our breakup that I think he's pretty much burned all the bridges.  His b/u behavior was undeniably horrible and there is no way to sugarcoat that or twist it to make it anything but just that.

I have no doubt some of you have had this experience.  How do you handle it?  Now, being me, I can't decide if the anxiety this creates for me is a)  because I know they are all right or b) I don't like it when people are disapproving.

[SickofMe]

I have told some people I'm talking to my (no longer ex) BF and every single one of them thinks I've gone off my rocker.

Everyone liked him when we were dating before, but he was so awful during our breakup that I think he's pretty much burned all the bridges.  His b/u behavior was undeniably horrible and there is no way to sugarcoat that or twist it to make it anything but just that.

I have no doubt some of you have had this experience.  How do you handle it?  Now, being me, I can't decide if the anxiety this creates for me is a)  because I know they are all right or b) I don't like it when people are disapproving.

[Forestaken]

My Xw was perfect in public and hell behind closed doors.  People were told by her sister that ou our break up was because I had an affair with a mystery woman (who never appeared) Oddly, many friends came back afterwards

Remember this is YOUR LIFE NOT THEIRS.

[adventurer]

Not to make this about me but my experience... .

I was very close to divorce, and while not ruling it out, I am trying to keep an open mind and make a final attempt to make this marriage work.

This is a huge disappointment to my mom, who actually may change her will with regards to me if the marriage stays together.  (manipulation, anyone?)

I need to do what I feel is best for my physical and emotional well-being and if that means staying and making one last go to convince myself this marriage is truly not salvageable than that I what I'm going to do and too bad for anyone who disagrees.

With the anxiety, you just have to stand by your decision and do what you feel is best.  There is no right or wrong answer, only YOUR answer.  If later you change your mind, don't look at is as making a mistake, look at is as gaining more experience that helped you grow and make a decision.

[momtara]

Adventurer, yes, take your last shot.  I gave up on our marriage quickly because of ex's behavior.  He was in counseling but I didn't want to take a chance.  There are still days I get all blue and think about whether I rushed too much.  In the end, it is hard for them to change, but you have to know you made the right decision.  So give it a try as long as you're not in danger.  I had 2 kids and felt it was best to end the marriage when I had the chance.