Ex ever stop enjoying?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I had been thinking about this recently but did anyone else's ex stop enjoying certain foods or things when upset or unhappy?

Mine would say I won't eat pizza anymore when there were multiple times during good times where she wanted that over anything else.

Or she loved a certain restaurant and now poof hates it.

Also for future planing she could go on ad-nauseum about future kids, wedding dresses, kids names, child rearing habbits... .But throw in a down cycle and "I'm to young to have kids, get married, etc" even if two weeks ago spent 45 minutes going over the reasons for names on children.

Basically just total flipflop on things she loved or had appeared to enjoyed Anyone else get that?

[DangIthurts]

I had been thinking about this recently but did anyone else's ex stop enjoying certain foods or things when upset or unhappy?

Mine would say I won't eat pizza anymore when there were multiple times during good times where she wanted that over anything else.

Or she loved a certain restaurant and now poof hates it.

Also for future planing she could go on ad-nauseum about future kids, wedding dresses, kids names, child rearing habbits... .But throw in a down cycle and "I'm to young to have kids, get married, etc" even if two weeks ago spent 45 minutes going over the reasons for names on children.

Basically just total flipflop on things she loved or had appeared to enjoyed Anyone else get that?

[billypilgrim]

Yes.  Hobbies.  Her "hobbies" changed constantly.  About the only things she consistently "enjoyed" were TV and Facebook.  Books and movies to some degree but even that had limits and spells of enjoyment.  One minute she was into furniture refinishing.  The next minute volunteering.  Then writing.  Then scrapbooking.  Once it ran it's course, she was done.  The only thing consistent about her hobbies was how inconsistent they were. 

Food was the same to some degree, now that I think about it, but I always wrote that off to her constant stomach issues. 

[Earthbayne]

She suddenly started hating on sushi.

Like billypilgrim, she was huge on TV and social media. That was the only constant in her life.

Everything else could change at the drop of a dime.

[DangIthurts]

She suddenly started hating on sushi.

Like billypilgrim, she was huge on TV and social media. That was the only constant in her life.

Everything else could change at the drop of a dime.

Yeah mine would say I'm going to join this sports team at school, didn't, I'm going into this field of my work, than this field, than leave the field completely.

Wanting a new job/field was all over the place. I always chalked it up to unhappiness or trying to hope pursuing a new field would be new motivation where trying to advance in ones own is more effort. Where having a far off dream is easier.

Also loved social media. More since we broke up since I had a problem that her uptick in usage would coincide with our down cycles... .Like happy hardly on it, but bad, pictures usage to the max.

[billypilgrim]

She suddenly started hating on sushi.

Like billypilgrim, she was huge on TV and social media. That was the only constant in her life.

Everything else could change at the drop of a dime.

Wanting a new job/field was all over the place. I always chalked it up to unhappiness or trying to hope pursuing a new field would be new motivation where trying to advance in ones own is more effort. Where having a far off dream is easier.

Always a new job.  The second she had a bad day at work, new job.  Even though she works for a fantastic company and is doing exactly what she went to school for.  I talked her down from that ledge so very often because she would truly be crazy to leave her job.  

Throw in joining a gym/going to the gym to the myriad of short lived things she attempted to enjoy.  Though I guess I quit going after joining one too - does that make me crazy?  

But everything started off with such enthusiasm and vigor.  Only to fizzle after a few weeks or even a weekend.  Nothing will ever make that girl happy.

[Earthbayne]

But everything started off with such enthusiasm and vigor.  Only to fizzle after a few weeks or even a weekend.  Nothing will ever make that girl happy.

This pretty much describes.

A cleanse. A job. A new business. A car. A new gym. A new computer. A new career. A new place to live. A new puppy. Etc, etc, etc... .

[christoff522]

I had been thinking about this recently but did anyone else's ex stop enjoying certain foods or things when upset or unhappy?

Mine would say I won't eat pizza anymore when there were multiple times during good times where she wanted that over anything else.

Or she loved a certain restaurant and now poof hates it.

Also for future planing she could go on ad-nauseum about future kids, wedding dresses, kids names, child rearing habbits... .But throw in a down cycle and "I'm to young to have kids, get married, etc" even if two weeks ago spent 45 minutes going over the reasons for names on children.

Basically just total flipflop on things she loved or had appeared to enjoyed Anyone else get that?

tesco value orange juice, and cup-a-soup.

That was her staple diet before, after she stopped. Then recently before I cut her out of my life she started wanting orange juice again.

[DangIthurts]

I had been thinking about this recently but did anyone else's ex stop enjoying certain foods or things when upset or unhappy?

Mine would say I won't eat pizza anymore when there were multiple times during good times where she wanted that over anything else.

Or she loved a certain restaurant and now poof hates it.

Also for future planing she could go on ad-nauseum about future kids, wedding dresses, kids names, child rearing habbits... .But throw in a down cycle and "I'm to young to have kids, get married, etc" even if two weeks ago spent 45 minutes going over the reasons for names on children.

Basically just total flipflop on things she loved or had appeared to enjoyed Anyone else get that?

tesco value orange juice, and cup-a-soup.

That was her staple diet before, after she stopped. Then recently before I cut her out of my life she started wanting orange juice again.

I've wondered how much of the person I knew is going to be projected or if she'll have a new personality for the next person. Mine was the good, hurt girl. So I wonder if they can adapt the mirroring for the new partner. Like if she's going to start wanting totally different things.

[michel71]

Just think of a 4 year old responding to almost ANYTHING. That is how they deal and solve problems.

[DangIthurts]

Just think of a 4 year old responding to almost ANYTHING. That is how they deal and solve problems.

I got cracked hard during one of the times I lost my cool speaking to her calmly over a week or so about the same stuff saying "I'm literally talking to a 3 year old" she let me have it good for that one, told her whole family I said that.

[Tiepje3]

My stbxh suddenly decided he'd become a vegetarian after taking one course of something like 'the art of breathing'? He remained a vegetarian for six years.

Whenever he was triggered or stressed, he just wouldn't eat at all and then complain of losing weight. But still wouldn't eat, even though I urged him to at least eat something.

He would eat a lot of peanut butter for 'protein', buy a big jar of protein powder, but forgot about it after a week.

Then, at the beginning of this year, when things went really bad, he all of sudden decided he wasn't a vegetarian anymore and started to eat meat again.

[DangIthurts]

they're at least committed. 6 years goodness.

[antelope]

But everything started off with such enthusiasm and vigor.  Only to fizzle after a few weeks or even a weekend.  Nothing will ever make that girl happy.

This pretty much describes.

A cleanse. A job. A new business. A car. A new gym. A new computer. A new career. A new place to live. A new puppy. Etc, etc, etc... .

you forgot to add: a new guy (us)

[Deeno02]

She was particular about restaurants. Wouldnt go to one local restaurant because local trash hung out there... .god, im glad im done...

[neverloveagain]

If she was anything like mine i wont go there because of the trash equates to i wont go there because i know all the trash and i dont want you to find out i do.

[Deeno02]

If she was anything like mine i wont go there because of the trash equates to i wont go there because i know all the trash and i dont want you to find out i do.

Yep. That's one part. If she knew the trash, they were beneath her. She was very status driven and had all sorts of ritzy friends. God forbid we didn't go somewhere fancy...

[Dutched]

I've wondered how much of the person I knew is going to be projected or if she'll have a new personality for the next person. Mine was the good, hurt girl. So I wonder if they can adapt the mirroring for the new partner. Like if she's going to start wanting totally different things.

Oh yes, at least in my case! A total different person. Just posted that in another treat too.

A few months after her break up exw said ‘it would take time to discover my values and norms’… again…

Well, exw did… No old friends, not playing tennis anymore, as a cougar going out hunting, and ‘discovered’ and being active in the whole new world of off road / car-truck rally (in the past? Not even wanted to see it on TV) and old men (was granted a peek at FB via another person)

Must be due to her r/s now. Exw begin 50 and a UK guy age 65, fled from the UK to mainland Europe after several yrs. moving around in a camper, fat as a Michelin puppet.

From a low social class (typical rebelling in early/mid 60ties, expressing it by ordinary tattoos, totally disgusting and contempt in those days), first kid he got at ca. 19 yrs. of age. His oldest daughter a 5-6 yrs. younger than exw... .

[DangIthurts]

I've wondered how much of the person I knew is going to be projected or if she'll have a new personality for the next person. Mine was the good, hurt girl. So I wonder if they can adapt the mirroring for the new partner. Like if she's going to start wanting totally different things.

Oh yes, at least in my case! A total different person. Just posted that in another treat too.

A few months after her break up exw said ‘it would take time to discover my values and norms’… again…

Well, exw did… No old friends, not playing tennis anymore, as a cougar going out hunting, and ‘discovered’ and being active in the whole new world of off road / car-truck rally (in the past? Not even wanted to see it on TV) and old men (was granted a peek at FB via another person)

Must be due to her r/s now. Exw begin 50 and a UK guy age 65, fled from the UK to mainland Europe after several yrs. moving around in a camper, fat as a Michelin puppet.

From a low social class (typical rebelling in early/mid 60ties, expressing it by ordinary tattoos, totally disgusting and contempt in those days), first kid he got at ca. 19 yrs. of age. His oldest daughter a 5-6 yrs. younger than exw... .

Then I do worry a little more since if someones like yeah I party and drink, she'd flip her good girl act to that simply to keep the replacement interested. Sigh.

[Deeno02]

I've wondered how much of the person I knew is going to be projected or if she'll have a new personality for the next person. Mine was the good, hurt girl. So I wonder if they can adapt the mirroring for the new partner. Like if she's going to start wanting totally different things.

Oh yes, at least in my case! A total different person. Just posted that in another treat too.

A few months after her break up exw said ‘it would take time to discover my values and norms’… again…

Well, exw did… No old friends, not playing tennis anymore, as a cougar going out hunting, and ‘discovered’ and being active in the whole new world of off road / car-truck rally (in the past? Not even wanted to see it on TV) and old men (was granted a peek at FB via another person)

Must be due to her r/s now. Exw begin 50 and a UK guy age 65, fled from the UK to mainland Europe after several yrs. moving around in a camper, fat as a Michelin puppet.

From a low social class (typical rebelling in early/mid 60ties, expressing it by ordinary tattoos, totally disgusting and contempt in those days), first kid he got at ca. 19 yrs. of age. His oldest daughter a 5-6 yrs. younger than exw... .

Then I do worry a little more since if someones like yeah I party and drink, she'd flip her good girl act to that simply to keep the replacement interested. Sigh.

Worry about what? Not your circus, not your monkeys. I dont give 10 ___s what she does anymore. Not your problem anymore

[Dutched]

I've wondered how much of the person I knew is going to be projected or if she'll have a new personality for the next person. Mine was the good, hurt girl. So I wonder if they can adapt the mirroring for the new partner. Like if she's going to start wanting totally different things.

Oh yes, at least in my case! A total different person. Just posted that in another treat too.

A few months after her break up exw said ‘it would take time to discover my values and norms’… again…

Well, exw did… No old friends, not playing tennis anymore, as a cougar going out hunting, and ‘discovered’ and being active in the whole new world of off road / car-truck rally (in the past? Not even wanted to see it on TV) and old men (was granted a peek at FB via another person)

Must be due to her r/s now. Exw begin 50 and a UK guy age 65, fled from the UK to mainland Europe after several yrs. moving around in a camper, fat as a Michelin puppet.

From a low social class (typical rebelling in early/mid 60ties, expressing it by ordinary tattoos, totally disgusting and contempt in those days), first kid he got at ca. 19 yrs. of age. His oldest daughter a 5-6 yrs. younger than exw... .

Then I do worry a little more since if someones like yeah I party and drink, she'd flip her good girl act to that simply to keep the replacement interested. Sigh.

Let me try to lift your mood a little.

I didn’t read your history, but having had a long r/s of 30+yrs the situation itself might be different, not in fact the future of ex.

A pwBPD hooks indeed to keep a party interested. How? Being a most desirable person, understanding,  socially and acting very, very interested in ones hobbies, live etc. So soon a “bond” is created.

In order to sustain that bond, guess, pwBPD need to change, better need to mirror, the known cameleon.

But, as many here experienced, one brings oneself… pwBPD too. So the cycle starts again, sooner or later.

The disorder always wins.

You know, I predicted exw all of her future, not in detail, already in my r/s (after every of hers outbursts), that she need to see the real value what she have/ we all share and the responsibilities towards the kids.

I predicted her “life afterwards” too. She will never find her baseline anymore (seen her lately, no sparkling left, eyes have a hollow death expression), she will destroy the next, she will never find her baseline anymore, will stay in her rollercoaster. Because of all, she will be life long afraid to let some one that close, that it will be a hollow r/s of “just having fun”. 

Well it seems exw is “just having fun” with her grandpa of 65 (seeing the future with such a difference in age?)

Maybe again “the best ever happened to me” (the universal BPD sentence…).

No my friend, please, no don’t worry, they are left with the same old repeating cycle. And further in time with more hills to climb but loosing grip and falling faster than imagined.

[DangIthurts]

No my friend, please, no don’t worry, they are left with the same old repeating cycle. And further in time with more hills to climb but loosing grip and falling faster than imagined.

Worry about what? Not your circus, not your monkeys. I dont give 10 ___s what she does anymore. Not your problem anymore[/quote]
I just don't wanna see someone get hurt, I mean I got abused in more ways than you can count, and its still messing with me... But knowing from here and being removed a few weeks, I know I'll work harder than before I can come back from this... .But she can't yeah she's got great survival skills and all that, but I just don't wanna ever see someones life fall apart or get worse regardless of that decision they choose.

And yeah you can say well there is starving kids in Africa too. But if they were on the street too I'd probably give them cash like I try do for all the homeless people I bump into.

Its just me man, I was probably a very easy target for her

[Dutched]

No my friend, please, no don’t worry, they are left with the same old repeating cycle. And further in time with more hills to climb but loosing grip and falling faster than imagined.

Worry about what? Not your circus, not your monkeys. I dont give 10 ___s what she does anymore. Not your problem anymore

I just don't wanna see someone get hurt, I mean I got abused in more ways than you can count, and its still messing with me... But knowing from here and being removed a few weeks, I know I'll work harder than before I can come back from this... .But she can't yeah she's got great survival skills and all that, but I just don't wanna ever see someones life fall apart or get worse regardless of that decision they choose.

And yeah you can say well there is starving kids in Africa too. But if they were on the street too I'd probably give them cash like I try do for all the homeless people I bump into.

Its just me man, I was probably a very easy target for her [/quote]
Seems having interpreted you wrong (glad in your case  ) let’s keep it of my understanding of English.

Don’t bother if the next one gets hurt. Love blinds and you are the “angry jealous” ex.  Seen to many attempt on this Board to warn the replacement.

Sadly one day we might welcome him, although I don not wish anything of it to even my worst enemy

[DangIthurts]

Seems having interpreted you wrong (glad in your case  ) let’s keep it of my understanding of English.

Don’t bother if the next one gets hurt. Love blinds and you are the “angry jealous” ex.  Seen to many attempt on this Board to warn the replacement.

Sadly one day we might welcome him, although I don not wish anything of it to even my worst enemy

Haha no problem. I could careless about that guy or any future ones. I care about me, and that she's not doing destructive stuff. heck if she wants to do one honeymoon phase to the other god bless. I just don't want to see her abused, doing things like drinking and driving, etc. those are the things I'm referring too...

Anyone who doesn't see how quick that love stuff happens should assumes destruction is imminent.