I know you're feeling lost, confused, and helpless,
PaintedBlack. Being abandoned by someone with BPD is a shock to the system. And it's so painful to know that someone we love is dealing with a disorder like this.
I feel I'm the only one that is aware of the situation. She will spend the rest of her life sick, unless she kills herself first. And I cant save her. AJMahari says so, I cant rescue her, not in my hand, I dont have the power.
You are absolutely, 100% correct. You can't save her.
I love her. There has to be something that can be done. Yet I dont see it.
You love her. That's all that you can do for her, right now and maybe forever.
The only person you have control over is yourself. You should be your priority. You're a compassionate, caring person -- turn that empathy on yourself. Focus on yourself. Save
yourself.
It doesn't matter if you never speak to her again or if you wind up marrying her... .you can't be a healthy partner if you have this idea of "saving" her. This is the case no matter who you're in a relationship with.
She's an adult who, at the end of the day, has to take responsibility for her actions and behavior just like we all do. Yes, she has a painful, difficult disorder, but only she can take the necessary steps to work on herself. It sounds like she's been taking steps to do so, which is good. But it's a long and difficult road, and it's one that she has to decide to walk.
I know you love her and you care and you're worried about her. That part of the situation is out of your control, however. Love and care and worry about yourself now. Take this time to heal. I wish you the best.
