I want snapchat or email her. Should I?

[Depression = 72% of members]

My went back to her new BF last week after cheating on him with me for a weird one week relapse. It ended with a huge blow out of her projecting how I don't want to see her happy cause it would piss me off and I just want to hurt her. Also told me to never think of her, speak to her, etc. and the last I heard was "look in just trying to survive, I'm stressed and you get under my skin".    It's been a week since this... .And I'm tempted to send her a snapchat cause she always loved my smile. Or to send her an email telling her I understand her more after reading up on BPD and don't have anger about what she's done and said and wish her luck etc. just so then our last contact will have been positive instead of fighting.  No contact works with her cause she only ever unblocks me when she feels ready but she sometimes gets moved by having me stir up her feelings too. But maybe that won't happen now that she has a new BF as a distraction. Help?

[Joshuaua]

My went back to her new BF last week after cheating on him with me for a weird one week relapse. It ended with a huge blow out of her projecting how I don't want to see her happy cause it would piss me off and I just want to hurt her. Also told me to never think of her, speak to her, etc. and the last I heard was "look in just trying to survive, I'm stressed and you get under my skin".    It's been a week since this... .And I'm tempted to send her a snapchat cause she always loved my smile. Or to send her an email telling her I understand her more after reading up on BPD and don't have anger about what she's done and said and wish her luck etc. just so then our last contact will have been positive instead of fighting.  No contact works with her cause she only ever unblocks me when she feels ready but she sometimes gets moved by having me stir up her feelings too. But maybe that won't happen now that she has a new BF as a distraction. Help?

[Elpis]

How long do you want to extend your pain?

Engaging will only make the disentangling take longer... .it's really tough, I know.

[Mutt]

Hi Joshuaua,

Elpis makes a valid point, it's going to have you limp along suffering.


If she unblocks you when she's ready it's an indicator that you've gone from bad person to good person - splitting.

If you send her messages sometimes you say it stirs feelings and may trigger her to unblock you.

Is your goal to have her engage you with the chance for reconciliation?

These break-ups are awfully difficult and you're at a disadvantage with a 3rd person - triangulation or Karpmann Drama Triangle.

[Infern0]

Don't reengage while she has supply.  Trust me.

[Deeno02]

In a word... .No!

[Forestaken]

In a word... .No!

In another word... .Run!