GDP style breakup?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Ok I'm trying to make sense of this I've been with my partner 6 years we were planning the wedding for next year (her pushing it forward) and about to buy our house when she sits me down three days before my birthday to tell me her "feelings have changed" and she needs to go to her sisters to work things out ... .I leave angry and hurt for my brothers I come back,on my birthday and she says sorry she can't be here packs a bag and leaves for her sisters before I come home ... .On Friday I tell her it's over via facebook and by Sunday we talk for the first time in a week on the phone and she tells me she doesn't love me anymore and haven't done for a year or two I take it well and tell her I understand ... .Ok fine but why tell me only months before how I am "the one" drag me round wedding venues and how weeks before  she would kill herself if anything happens to me

Fast forward another week and we talk again on the phone and she tells me she should have left me years ago blames me for everything , tells me she feels a lot of resentment over money she earns more than me and that her gut is telling us we are not meant to be together (her gut always said we were meant to be together )and not to screw anyone in our bed what the heck This coming from a woman who for the last 6 years has said "how she always thought we are meant to be" and even after 6 years she Isn't interested in other men I'm wonderful amazing , sexy etc ... .

Her paranoid lack of trust she thinks I'm only upset because of the financial difficuties of her leaving and even then she has decided to take back my bday presents charge me for the cabinet she left and told me I will find another gf soon enough .

Now she is telling me she wants "more" from life , we bicker all the time (yes due to her high maintenance ) constant winging, nagging and moaning about everything from me the dog, our neighbours , friends everything and anything her mood swings ... .He constant demands for attention and affection and to unburden on me all the time . He endless neurotic behaviours.


She has also made new gf's got a new job she enjoys and has always swung between excessive adoration of me and us (we are meant to be) and anxious worry (do we make each other happy) The fact she is going to be 30 next year has been worrying her and she told me after the break she needs to "find herself" as she has been in relationships for over 10 years in fact she coldly waited to leave her last bf only after she had finished her degree and then pursued me relentlessly knowing he was an acquaintance of mine and I was already with someone (though we had long ago lost the spark and romance as well as sex life)

I feel used to be honest this would not have happened 12 months ago when she was lonely and depressed, as she said post BU I don't need you as a friend I now have "friends" . We were at a wedding a few months back and she told me how she felt like crying imagining us in the bride & grooms place ... .

She has gone from I want us to still be friends and I will help out with the bills till you get sorted to ... .I'm prepared to never see you again and I'm only "helping" out for 2 months as I think that's fair and grumbling about all the stuff she bought for our home like the washing machine that she will be leaving . As if some furniture and white goods can make up for all this .

I've noticed over the years how spoilt and childish she is always blaming others or circumstances for her own unhappiness and expecting others to make her happy . Everyone who knows her described her to me after the break up as demanding and difficult as well as hard work and super sensitive I guess I just always thought I could make her happy if I did this or that and her feelings for me and us were deep and constant ... I guessed wrong

I've only done everything to make her happy the

Last few years , got a new job , listened and been there for her every single day with her moans and problems (hours at time) stayed loyal even when she went off sex years ago . Moved into the spare room because my snoring keeps her up etc . Etc and just been her rock in life . To having her say "I exhaust her" and she has lost respect for me ?... .She has literally destroyed my life , I have to find a new job, I had to re home our dog I had from a pup and find someone to move in to help with the bills . She earns £100k basic before bonus and she is arguing with me over £40 for joint bills ... .The whole time she has only bothered to say how hard this is "for her" I even said she could live here till she finds a flat so she doesn't have to stay at her sisters . And the best show of affection and concept I got was a drunken "I miss you" two weeks after the BU

She has always be an anxious person always questioning everything in her life constantly work, friends, family , me etc .etc

The dog died after i rehomed him and the best she could say was a text "I'm so sorry to hear that hope your ok xx" her utter emotional disconnected responses her rage and anger at the perceived financial losses she will have to "endure" her total lack of understand appologie or refusal to look at the emotional fall out she has caused is truly breathtaking as is her gas lighting .

Does this BU sound like typically GDP trait behaviour ?

[dobie]

Ok I'm trying to make sense of this I've been with my partner 6 years we were planning the wedding for next year (her pushing it forward) and about to buy our house when she sits me down three days before my birthday to tell me her "feelings have changed" and she needs to go to her sisters to work things out ... .I leave angry and hurt for my brothers I come back,on my birthday and she says sorry she can't be here packs a bag and leaves for her sisters before I come home ... .On Friday I tell her it's over via facebook and by Sunday we talk for the first time in a week on the phone and she tells me she doesn't love me anymore and haven't done for a year or two I take it well and tell her I understand ... .Ok fine but why tell me only months before how I am "the one" drag me round wedding venues and how weeks before  she would kill herself if anything happens to me

Fast forward another week and we talk again on the phone and she tells me she should have left me years ago blames me for everything , tells me she feels a lot of resentment over money she earns more than me and that her gut is telling us we are not meant to be together (her gut always said we were meant to be together )and not to screw anyone in our bed what the heck This coming from a woman who for the last 6 years has said "how she always thought we are meant to be" and even after 6 years she Isn't interested in other men I'm wonderful amazing , sexy etc ... .

Her paranoid lack of trust she thinks I'm only upset because of the financial difficuties of her leaving and even then she has decided to take back my bday presents charge me for the cabinet she left and told me I will find another gf soon enough .

Now she is telling me she wants "more" from life , we bicker all the time (yes due to her high maintenance ) constant winging, nagging and moaning about everything from me the dog, our neighbours , friends everything and anything her mood swings ... .He constant demands for attention and affection and to unburden on me all the time . He endless neurotic behaviours.


She has also made new gf's got a new job she enjoys and has always swung between excessive adoration of me and us (we are meant to be) and anxious worry (do we make each other happy) The fact she is going to be 30 next year has been worrying her and she told me after the break she needs to "find herself" as she has been in relationships for over 10 years in fact she coldly waited to leave her last bf only after she had finished her degree and then pursued me relentlessly knowing he was an acquaintance of mine and I was already with someone (though we had long ago lost the spark and romance as well as sex life)

I feel used to be honest this would not have happened 12 months ago when she was lonely and depressed, as she said post BU I don't need you as a friend I now have "friends" . We were at a wedding a few months back and she told me how she felt like crying imagining us in the bride & grooms place ... .

She has gone from I want us to still be friends and I will help out with the bills till you get sorted to ... .I'm prepared to never see you again and I'm only "helping" out for 2 months as I think that's fair and grumbling about all the stuff she bought for our home like the washing machine that she will be leaving . As if some furniture and white goods can make up for all this .

I've noticed over the years how spoilt and childish she is always blaming others or circumstances for her own unhappiness and expecting others to make her happy . Everyone who knows her described her to me after the break up as demanding and difficult as well as hard work and super sensitive I guess I just always thought I could make her happy if I did this or that and her feelings for me and us were deep and constant ... I guessed wrong

I've only done everything to make her happy the

Last few years , got a new job , listened and been there for her every single day with her moans and problems (hours at time) stayed loyal even when she went off sex years ago . Moved into the spare room because my snoring keeps her up etc . Etc and just been her rock in life . To having her say "I exhaust her" and she has lost respect for me ?... .She has literally destroyed my life , I have to find a new job, I had to re home our dog I had from a pup and find someone to move in to help with the bills . She earns £100k basic before bonus and she is arguing with me over £40 for joint bills ... .The whole time she has only bothered to say how hard this is "for her" I even said she could live here till she finds a flat so she doesn't have to stay at her sisters . And the best show of affection and concept I got was a drunken "I miss you" two weeks after the BU

She has always be an anxious person always questioning everything in her life constantly work, friends, family , me etc .etc

The dog died after i rehomed him and the best she could say was a text "I'm so sorry to hear that hope your ok xx" her utter emotional disconnected responses her rage and anger at the perceived financial losses she will have to "endure" her total lack of understand appologie or refusal to look at the emotional fall out she has caused is truly breathtaking as is her gas lighting .

Does this BU sound like typically GDP trait behaviour ?