Bpdexgf in a bad place but still silence from her.

[hurting300]

Did you say abusive things to her?

No all I said once about 3 weeks ago was " why are you ignoring you got a new boyfreind overnight who does that to someone they say they love its a horrible thing to do as a person " she proberly read that as I was calling her a horrible person as she doesnt see what she has done as wrong .

I guess she will only welcome nice texts from me to validate her and that reason only ? That's the only reason I can think of and to why she wouldn't answer my quistion but I've made it clear she will not hear from me again based on her asking me to leave her alone . If she wants validation then she will have to seek it from her boyfriend I'm not doing it just to make her feel good and my feelings not being noticed and just go round in circles .

a great way to stop going in circles is to go No contact for awhile.

[Splitblack4good]

Did you say abusive things to her?

No all I said once about 3 weeks ago was " why are you ignoring you got a new boyfreind overnight who does that to someone they say they love its a horrible thing to do as a person " she proberly read that as I was calling her a horrible person as she doesnt see what she has done as wrong .

I guess she will only welcome nice texts from me to validate her and that reason only ? That's the only reason I can think of and to why she wouldn't answer my quistion but I've made it clear she will not hear from me again based on her asking me to leave her alone . If she wants validation then she will have to seek it from her boyfriend I'm not doing it just to make her feel good and my feelings not being noticed and just go round in circles .

a great way to stop going in circles is to go No contact for awhile.

NC for a while ? I'm going NC for ever now as she's convinced I don't and didn't love Her I said I can only prove I love you by being with you and this is not an option for us now . Of course trying to get a pwBPD to see or understand this is pointless . She only thinks this way as my replacement is a unemployed drug dealer that has no family or friends anymore she took good care of that by turning him against them. He can not drive so she has to drive him everywhere ! He spends 24/7 with her he's always inches from her side and never out of veiw so therefore she sees that as love and he's not neglecting her he's meeting all her needs wher in comparison to me I work some times long hours every day every week and have lots of everyday life commitments and family that like to see me so she see this as I neglected her ! Therefore I never loved her so seeing this and feeling this by someone that has BPD he is a clear winner ! Sad as its true but I can not compete with that if I was with a healthy minded women then yes she would understand .

[hurting300]

(Tough love coming) listen buddy, if wants to be with some man that don't even drive then by all means let her have him. She clearly is confused and likes dating helpless men, are you helpless? Sounds like he needs her more than you need her. Stay away, let her fall on her own.

[Splitblack4good]

To further add to this he is using her as he is homeless and fresh out of prison a week before meetings ex she drives him everywhere she is constantly doing things for him treating him like a king and we all know why so he never leaves her . He's staying with her because he's homeless and is being treated this way he does not know she has BPD he thinks she is just gulible and infatuated with him so he's going along for the ride and milking it ! He's telling her everything she wants to hear and meeting her every need but not on purpose just because of his lack of life commitments and lack of job ! So we have a in medicated borderline female that had next to no abandoment fears with this guy and a homeless lazy drug dealer that's getting laid and a roof over his head rent free and no emotinal atatcment what so ever . It's very bad luck from we're I'm sitting because in her mind he's every thing I'm not and is to deluded to see shes being taken for a ride !

They argue every day to the point police get involved so I don't know how this is gona work out only time will tell .

[Splitblack4good]

(Tough love coming) listen buddy, if wants to be with some man that don't even drive then by all means let her have him. She clearly is confused and likes dating helpless men, are you helpless? Sounds like he needs her more than you need her. Stay away, let her fall on her own.

What do you mean by tough love coming ?

Trust me I'm going to let her get on with it I'm staying NC and dissapering now as this is what she wants and I've text her to remind her of this and I'm respecting her descison and ive made it clear that if she tries to reach out to me I will be moved on and healed I'm almost certain she thinks I can not do it but I am going to show her I can . We both got closure today so I think ther is a possibility she may never come back . However she has 0 freinds her parents don't wish to know her and all of her exes have moved on with other people in steady relationships and she also has 4 children that she knows trying to find a male partner that is willing to take them on is very difficult so when this ends she will have no1 . With me however she knows I love her and I also love her kids like my own and they adore me . Based on all these facts I'm supprised she is pushing me away and has told me she does not want to see me again. She's takin a huge gamble and risk but one that is going to back fire as I'm now more focussed in detaching and moving on due to our conversation today.