Nonsensical, bizarre, crazy BPD day

[Moselle]

- A great start to the day. Happy wife, sitting in bed, talking about the day and the week.

- Three hours later, on the way to our counselling session. She literally phoned her lawyer in the car and said "Proceed with my divorce".

- 1 hour later after our session with the counsellor, she was telling me calmly where her dream house is, and asking when can we move in there. I had my arm around her, and she said how safe she feels.  I had three hours of pleasantry, before the darkness crept in again and she reverted.

- She was adamant she was pregnant, and insisted on having a pregnancy test. Stopped on the way home. Bought pregnancy test. Used it. Not pregnant... .Thank the Lord

- Now she's raging around the house.

Is this my new "normal" ?

Something is going to break and I'm determined it's not going to be my mind.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Tim300]

How long have you been married?

Does her mother have a pattern of behaving like this too?  Is her mother nearby?         

[Moselle]

Tim300,

More than decade.  Her mum and 5 sisters behave the same same way. Her mother is 1500km away but never far from the phone, sprouting her toxic ideas and behaviours.

[believer55]

Seriously that is a crap BPD day - sorry that you are having such a bad time of it. I hope for you and your wife that the dysregulation ends soon before anything breaks. Try to get some time to yourself to refocus and recentre and take care of you. 

[Tim300]

6 BPD daughters. ... And where's the biological father?

[SlyQQ]

I am a sticker but 6 BPD daughters even i would run!

[Moselle]

Thanks all,

They aren't all BPD. But it is a soup of NPD,  BPD, OCD,  all diagnosed but not spoken about.

Believer,  thanks for your concern! I'm taking my timeout today for me.  To get back into a healthy place.

The father is there.  His advice to me over Christmas was to do more things for her, listen to her more. Serve her more. That's what he's done his whole life and he's treated like a dog.

[formflier]

That's what he's done his whole life and he's treated like a dog.

So... .don't do this... correct.  I'm one of those "clarity" guys... .so no where in your "solution" should  anything along those lines of "serving her more"... .and being treated like a dog... .be part of this.

OK... so i've got to ask (I had MC yesterday too)... .how was this addressed in MC?  The calling lawyer about divorce.

I'm in a bit of a feisty mood... .so take what I'm going to say in that light.  In fact... I'm working on a new boundary.

But I would not let the divorce call thing drop until there was a clear explanation of how that was helpful for a healthy r/s. 

And... .I can't help but think about the meds... .getting her to doctor... .

I would explain to dr the mood swing that happened... .just like you described it here.

There is fine line between "persecuting" someone... .and shining the light of truth on a situation... .and letting it show... .whatever it shows.

Maybe it's not a fine line... .not sure.

Again... .consider my mood.

Quick version of my new boundary... see other thread.  My thoughts and motives are mine.  Zero tolerance... .if this "causes her" to do other things... .so be it. 

[Moselle]

I like your thinking on this.  Just being close to or talking to her parents has triggered this type of fluctuation.  It was much more stable before. All off or all on for three days. This new 5 switched in one day is completely new to me.

I won't let it die. I keep a daily diary now so I can see if things improve over time.

She has bought a relationship diary today where we can record our learnings. I'm not sure where she's going with that, but I'm taking it as a positive. I've hatched a very structured approach to life and the relationship in 2015.  She seems more comfortable where she can tick the boxes.

I do like your thoughts and motives boundary. It is very real. And they want to invade it for sure.