do you ever feel like your going crazy?

[samj81]

Two month post exBPD boyfriend leaving and some days i feel like im going crazy!

All i think of is him!im replaying conversations/events that happened between us over in my head.analyising every word,every look.just anything to try and get it right in my head!

I hate who im turning into,this isnt me!

I have to let go but theres something thats stoping me!

The fact that everything was so great and he just walked.i want explanation but know im never going to get that.im struggling to move on.where do i go from here?

[MrConfusedWithItAll]

Two month post exBPD boyfriend leaving and some days i feel like im going crazy!

All i think of is him!im replaying conversations/events that happened between us over in my head.analyising every word,every look.just anything to try and get it right in my head!

I hate who im turning into,this isnt me!

I have to let go but theres something thats stoping me!

The fact that everything was so great and he just walked.i want explanation but know im never going to get that.im struggling to move on.where do i go from here?

The best thing I did post break up was a mindfulness course.  The meditations learnt enable you to clear the mind of unwanted thought.  Still it was far from easy and even she spends to much time in my head.

[Perdita]

Samj81, to answer your question: YES.  I often have felt that I am losing my mind.  There have been times that I've asked myself if maybe I 'caught' BPD from him.  Then again, it is probably a good thing that I am at least aware of these things.  Crazy people don't think they are crazy.

Has he been on your mind this much ever since the split or only more recently?

[Hadlee]

Totally! 

I feel like I'm going crazy right now   Just when I think I've healed, something pops up and I take a few steps back.  And the BPD in my life is only a friend.  I can't imagine being in a romantic relationship with a pwBPD - I'm sure I would end up in a psych ward

I'm now hearing the other side to the story from my friends recent exbf and it blows my mind.  Whilst I'm fully aware she has BPD (not sure if she has been diagnosed or not - she claims to have been diagnosed as bipolar), I don't think her exbf has processed things as yet, or has put two and two together.  I am so angry about the lies she told about him, and continues to tell about him.  He has NO IDEA what she's been saying.  It makes me feel sick.

I definitely hope the madness in my mind leaves VERY SOON!

My heart goes out to each and every one of you who are recovering from a broken relationship with your BPD

 

[NYMike]

Two month post exBPD boyfriend leaving and some days i feel like im going crazy!

All i think of is him!im replaying conversations/events that happened between us over in my head.analyising every word,every look.just anything to try and get it right in my head!

I hate who im turning into,this isnt me!

I have to let go but theres something thats stoping me!

The fact that everything was so great and he just walked.i want explanation but know im never going to get that.im struggling to move on.where do i go from here?

You are not alone.It is normal you feel like you are going crazy.This will take time to heal.That is why NC is the answer.

Have you read this yet.?

https://bpdfamily.com/content/surviving-break-when-your-partner-has-borderline-personality

[samj81]

Iv tryed to block him out as much as i can,but yeh hes been in my head every minuate of the day since the split!some days are better than others but its driving me crazy!it does make you question your own sanity!

Im having a extremly bad day today.its like hes in my head every second thought.im over thinking everything.i cant keep my mind on anything it just wonders back to him.

Im having major trouble with closure,he gave me none what so ever.just walked away!

How can i still care about a person that has turned me into this?

I dont like myself,who i have become!

[Xidion]

Absolutely. But I don't think it's so much as crazy as being mentally out of whack, so to speak. we have just been mind ___ed by someone who is an expert at playing games.

I will be talking to a therapist soon just to have someone to talk to and vent to.

[Infared]

Funny... .ever since going NO CONTACT my sanity returned quite quickly!     

[Perdita]

I dont like myself,who i have become!

This is what I keep saying to myself.  Have been saying it the entire last year with him.

[Infern0]

The obsessive thinking is annoying as hell. I had a 3 month period where she was on my mind basically 100% of the time.  Like from the second I woke up to the second I fell asleep.

It slowly dies down,  right now I'd say she's got like 30% of my head space. Getting lesser,  I can go several hours without thinking of her which is nice.

There's no real advice just to say that it does die down.