SURVEY | Was your relationship ever physically abusive?

[alleyesonme]

Just seeing this thread for the first time. My stbEX hit, slapped, pushed, elbowed and threw things at me a number of times. I was obviously stunned and furious, but never got physical with her.

One time we were driving in the car together and she would not stop with the verbal abuse. I lost it and just started screaming and cussing at her for 10-15 seconds and she totally stopped. Maybe an hour later, with a huge smile on her face, she said, "Wow, you really let me have it earlier." Unbelievably creepy, and I think it lends credence to what some of you have said in this thread - for a lot of BP's, violence and abuse is what they know, and that feels normal to them.

[Bvcruiser]

I just ran across this post for the first time. Wow. some of the stuff that non borderliners have been put through. My heart is out for you people. I too have had physical abuse. I do not believe in hitting women. I would just take the slapping and objects being tossed at me and  tell myself that it would be over soon.

What got me is that my ex borderliner had a victim mentality. When I finally decided to argue back, she would call the police. No charges were ever filed, but my nerves were rattled. Several times, she threatened suicide, and I would not let her leave the house. She twisted that around by just telling the police that I would not let her leave. On other occasions, she would lock herself in a room, start drinking or self mutilating with a razor, and I would try to intervene. I got blamed for not letting her to have space. I was always wrong in her eyes. Just as the guys she was with before me. When these guys were trying to intervene or argue back, they too were accused of things like verbal abuse. Living with the borderliner was a job in itself. The recycles got worse and worse. But when somebody takes on the victim mentality, things escalate to higher degrees. It still hurts that exactly 2 months ago to this date, I got a restraining order and had her removed from my house. I still miss when she was lovey dovey, but something needed done for my own health and safety.