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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: Replacement's facebook behavior  (Read 1195 times)
Hawk Ridge
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
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« on: January 18, 2015, 02:52:56 PM »

My exPwBPD and i are still friends and are friends on Facebook.  She doesn't know that I hide her though because i don't choose to see what she likes and doesn't like.  I will comment or like a post of hers on occasion but i have made it a practice to not look to see who else likes or who else comments.  That said, i do this because I used to check out my replacements page or see what she liked or commented on my ex's page. It always set me back.  I feel better now that i changed that.  My ex always asked me to never post affectionate things bout her on facebook.  She has been with my replacement since May.  In July, she started contacting me.  Before that, when i still looked, my replacement would call her the love of her life.  Last week, my ex posted that her dog died.  I went to post a condolence in the comments when i accidentally saw my replacement's comment, "I love you!"  I couldn't help but think she seemed desperate, the way I was toward the end, thinking my kindness could compensate and fix the distance that came with the dysregulation.  Has anybody else observed the behavior of the replacement on Facebook and thought it seemed desperate?
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Ghost733

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 23


« Reply #1 on: January 18, 2015, 05:53:03 PM »

Were you not desperate at some point during the relationship?  Hell, I was desperate for most of mine.  A BPD relationship is just the acting out of a long formula with a lot of complex variables.  Sometimes the variables are different, like the SO or whatever personality the BPD chooses, but the product is always the same.
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Confused?
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 279


« Reply #2 on: January 18, 2015, 05:57:42 PM »

I'm blocked by my replacement. I'm sure she told him the same bs about me that he said about all her other exes. I'm sure I'm a crazy stalker blah blah blah. I actually went to check his Facebook because she called me one night saying how horrible he was and all he does is talk to girls and hook up with them. Pretty much everything she has done post relationship has shown me her true colors. She is a manipulative liar. She is alone because she thinks she is. She doesn't know why love is. It's all survival with them. That being said it's hard to say what her current relationship is like with your replacement. Rules change with them. Social media is a public source. She could say don't show affection on there because she is hiding certain people from others. As you know BPD tend to have tons of supply. So not showing affection on social media is a great way to hide relationships. Hard to say but keep focusing on you.
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Hawk Ridge
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 303



« Reply #3 on: January 18, 2015, 07:05:43 PM »

Thank you both for your insights.  And yes, I was desperate in my relationship with my expwBPD. I think that's part of why I was thinking about the replacement's posts.  It reminded me of me.  I wanted some outside perspectives where it is safe to ask, here, so thank you for honoring my humility and sharing your thoughts.
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enlighten me
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« Reply #4 on: January 18, 2015, 08:01:17 PM »

Weird. Because of this post I had a look at his fb page. There was a picture of my ex and him all smiles. What I found strange wss that he didnt mention her in it and she didnt like the picture. Its as if they are hiding it.

She has never mentioned him to me even though I see her regularly as we have a child together. I have also been told that he is moving to be closer to her or live with her so its bound to have to be brought up sometime.
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