uBPDxw lives with dogs but our son has pet allergies

[mywifecrazy]

Anyone else have a situation where their child has pet allergies by their BPDx is now living in house with pets?

We had to put down our Dog when our S10 was first diagnosed with pet allergies back when he was 5. I told her in a polite way that she's putting our son at risk when she has him every other weekend as her new R/s has 2 dogs but she refuses to do anything. She has options like having her new R/s ex wife keep,the dogs at her house when my sons are with her but she again she refuses to do anything.

I'm now sending her a nice BIFF email asking her to please do what she can to eliminate having the dogs with her when she has our son. I politely hinted that I would seek legal action but I would rather not do,that and feel that we should be able to,solve this problem without going to,court.

Your thoughts or suggestions are appreciated!

MWC... .

[momtara]

The email sounds good. At least sets a good precedent and shows you are trying to start a dialogue on this the right way.

[livednlearned]

What legal action would you take if she refuses to cooperate?

[mywifecrazy]

Would hope it would not have to come to having to go the legal route but was wondering if I could get a court order forcing her to keep dogs out of house when our son is with her. And if she didn't comply would go after full custody. Not sure if there is a precedent or I would even had a case but I'm just thinking out loud as I don't like the situation for my son.

MWC... .

[livednlearned]

If you went the legal route and hoped to get any traction, you would probably need to show that your S has serious allergies, with documentation that the dogs are seriously impairing his health. And that might include showing what you tried in order to help your son manage the symptoms. My son has asthma and wood smoke is a big problem for him. But my ex insisted on having fires all the time. It came up in the PC hearing, and all that happened is N/BPDx said he wouldn't have them anymore. And then continued to have them while S13 was there. It's one of those hard things that can't really be enforced because you have to show evidence that it's happening, and demonstrate how it impairs your child. Otherwise you spend a lot of time and money only to have a judge tell your ex to stop doing xyz. 

[Ulysses]

This is an interesting thread because I have severe allergies to cats, and I think my daughter might, too.  I saw cat litter in the back of exNPD/BPDh car and haven't asked anything about it.  I figure if I feel it's a problem I'll have to get my daughter tested for allergies.  I'm interested in what a court would do, if anything, about having kids around things they're allergic to.

My son has asthma and wood smoke is a big problem for him. But my ex insisted on having fires all the time.

Holy smoke, that is exactly what is going on with my son and ex.  Ex had the fires without having an inhaler at his place.  When I told him I didn't agree with having the fires, and if he was going to, at least have an inhaler there, he told me he didn't want to be controlled by me (we had agreed to have no more fires after our son was diagnosed with asthma).  He still doesn't have an inhaler, I pack it each time for my son.

[scraps66]

Could she possibly be fabricating a situation of need, to highlight her as being the caregiver?  If the child becomes sick while in her care, then she can play caregiver.  I see this pathology in my ex. 

[mywifecrazy]

Could she possibly be fabricating a situation of need, to highlight her as being the caregiver?  If the child becomes sick while in her care, then she can play caregiver.  I see this pathology in my ex. 

Wow that's an interesting scenario for you to deal with, although sad to purposely risk your child's safety just so,you can play caregiver.

No, on my end she just doesn't care it's all about her. In reality she has isolated herself with her new R/s. She has nowhere else to turn. She has burned her bridges with me, her family and has no real friends. She can't support herself has she refuses to work more than part time so she moves in with new r/s and he is taking care of her. I guess she's afraid to push this issue with him because it's his house, his dogs. If push comes to shove he might chose the dogs over her than she'll be out on the streets.!

But like I said earlier she has options so the dogs aren't there when our sons are with her.

MWC... .