I'm a new member, and I'm relieved to find you

[Traveller23]

The BPD site not only feels like a dream, but also a breath of fresh air - after struggling with emotional pain, self doubt, low self esteem, guilt, on and on. I have left the state where my BP mother resides about 5 months ago, the place where I was born and raised. Being away from the chaos has given some clarity. I went to a NAMI meeting last month where I first heard the term "Borderline". I have no doubt that my mother is extreme BPD--my father died a few years ago and I am battling my BPD sister who is the executor concerning my father's will and last wishes. The dysfunction and addiction traits are denied and as the truthful one, I have become the blacksheep. Now that I am living alcohol  drug free life and moving on, my other sisters ignore my by not returing my texts/calls  or Gaslighting, and make me feel like i am doing something wrong. This is the time when I need my family and they are not there.The healthier I get, the more conflict or silence I encounter. My story goes on,

but I am so happy to find this site. I have a lot of questions and respect all of your input and wisdom. I am searching for the strength to begin again and I thank you for being there. Peace and love--Traveller 23

[Harri]

Hi Traveller and welcome!  I too am glad you found this place.  You will get support, compassion, honest feedback and a whole lot of people who understand much of your journey. 

The dysfunction and addiction traits are denied and as the truthful one, I have become the blacksheep. Now that I am living alcohol  drug free life and moving on, my other sisters ignore my by not returing my texts/calls  or Gaslighting, and make me feel like i am doing something wrong. This is the time when I need my family and they are not there.The healthier I get, the more conflict or silence I encounter. My story goes on, but I am so happy to find this site. I have a lot of questions and respect all of your input and wisdom. I am searching for the strength to begin again and I thank you for being there.

First, a huge congratulations for being drug and alcohol free!  That takes a lot of strength and determination.  I am glad you are in a safer place that allows for clarity. 

So often other family members become upset when we decide to change our assigned role and take care of us.  The important part is understanding that and being able to anticipate the sort of backlash that can occur so that you can mentally prepare yourself, especially against gaslighting, projections, and taking on the responsibility for the rest of your family.

Anyhoo, keep reading, ask question and post as you work through things.  We can listen and encourage you as you proceed with your own healing.

[Woolspinner2000]

Traveller23, 

Glad you found us! There will be much help and wisdom available to you here at the site. There is a never ending supply of information, and then once you feel you have absorbed it, if you go back sometime later and re-read, you'll find there is still more to glean! That is how it has been for me, and I've only been a member for a little more than a year.

Along with Harri I heartily agree:     Two thumbs up for being drug and alcohol free! Also for stepping away from the conflict and focusing on you and the healing and strength you need.

The healthier I get, the more conflict or silence I encounter.

This is so very true! I've been hearing the same phrase, that the healthier you get, the less healthy other people look. Sadly dysfunction runs through generations. But you've stood up and are doing your best to break the cycle! 

Keep sharing with us,

Woolspinner

[CanICallYou]

  

[CanICallYou]

Hi there traveler, I just want to congrats you from being drug free. You manage to recover with yourself, though you have problem with your family. You were really brave and a strong person, and I adore you for that. My brother was also suffering from addiction, but now he’s in the recovery process. He attend some addiction rehab centers program here in Texas, and he’s doing great, I see he’s improving everyday. Hopefully, he will be fully recovered and be back to his normal life.